Thank you for the laugh!
If I were a business owner I would definitely have to have you on staff.
Your job would just be to attend every business meeting and harass incompetent, arrogant presenters. Salary plus commission (commission would be based upon number of pithy quips that got a rise out of the meeting speaker).
I would pay you much more than a fiver.
I will have to find someone who will do all of the above and then I can truly claim job satisfaction!!