A Crooked Christmas Carol

I in my skibbies; her in only a cap, sprung from the hydabed and our peaceful nap. On top of the trailor something was shattered. I grabbed my shotgun. I knew at once, It was that jolly fat bastard. He came to steal milk, cookies and cheese. We knowed this because...we had no chimney. He tried to come through the dryer pipe. We saw it and laughed and snorted all night. We walked out in the yard, and man we saw a sight. There on the trailor roof stood 12 donkeys in lights. We had our gift and our redneck laugh. Even offered that fat bastard a slap on the back. We sent him on home riding his favorite steed. Then went back in for milk, cookies and cheese. We almost got robbed by that jolly fat man. That shatter we heard was fallin beer cans. We found out later he was drinkin beer and moon shine. That fat bastard sure did show his rosy behind. I'm guessing he'll be back again next year. On every Christmas Eve he gets moonshine and beer. So, next holiday season we're gonna be prepared. With hay and ladders and plenty of cheer. We're havin a party on the roof of my trailor. With milk, cookies, cheese and a huge bonfire. I hope you'll be comin, it's gonna be a huge blast. Rednecks drinkin and smokin their grass. Till along comes the knight with his faithful asses. Wielding his flask and red glittery tassles. We got smart since he ran out of space. We made the trailor a huge fireplace! Whole neighborhood's in, so this'll be fun. It'll be hot. World famous redneck, Christmas spot!

Sinners Theory ~