Cool or Clueless? The Wannabe Rudes!

Have you ever come across those “wannabe rude” people? The ones who try so hard to sound arrogant and “cool” that it almost becomes embarrassing to witness?

Before I go on, let me give a bit of cultural context. We Pakistanis are not inherently rude or arrogant people — at least not socially. Generally speaking, we tend to behave decently in public. Of course, people come from different backgrounds, levels of education, and upbringing… but overall, we’re pretty polite as a society.

So when you suddenly see teens or pre-teens bragging, trash-talking, or mocking others behind their backs, it really stands out. These are the “wannabe arrogant” ones — the ones who think being rude somehow makes them look cool. Why? Only God knows.

Another thing to understand is that open boy–girl mingling is still not that common here. Even my daughters don’t have male friends — at least none that I know of. There are many reasons for that, cultural and otherwise, so let’s not jump to judgement.

Anyway, today I witnessed something that really bothered me. A young girl was talking to an older boy (not this part) and casually trash-talking lady I also happen to know. She went like this: "So I was just standing there, minding my own business and not giving a damn about that aunty or anyone else, when she suddenly came out of nowhere and hugged me. Then she started asking me things.. like, why I would even be interested, and she kept clinging to me like we were long-lost friends… blah blah..." The funny thing is, I happened to witness this interaction. She was exaggerating the whole thing, just blowing it way out of proportion. The hug? It wasn’t even a proper hug. It was just that light, sideways greeting we normally give eachother out of courtesy. But this girl, maybe a bit too obsessed with impressing that boy, was trying so hard to look “cool” that she started saying she didn’t care who that aunty was or why she hugged her — and went on disrespecting her for absolutely no reason.

My husband and I were sitting nearby in the front seat, hearing all of it. At one point, he became so uncomfortable with this senseless negativity that he quietly got up and walked away.

And honestly… I don’t blame him.

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This brings us to another question…

Why are people really rude?
As I mentioned earlier, we are not generally a rude nation — so is rudeness cultural? Or is it a personal trait?

It’s a complicated question, because now we’re stepping into human psychology.

I’ve asked myself this so many times. I’ve seen people at restaurants scolding waiters — being completely disrespectful over the smallest things. And I think, why? The waiter didn’t even cook the food. What’s the point of humiliating someone just trying to do their job?
What are they trying to seek? Attention? Are they attention seekers?

Or is it their insecurity manifesting?

There’s a saying I like:

“Those who truly have it, don’t need to show it.”

People who know themselves — who are emotionally stable and respectful — don’t need to act rude all the time. There’s nothing to gain from it.

In my experience, the rudest people are usually the most insecure. They lash out because of jealousy, attention-seeking, frustration, or simply a lack of emotional maturity. Sometimes mental health also plays a role — and that’s a different discussion.

People who are internally strong may occasionally be rude — but it’s usually rare, and they often apologise later.

I honestly feel sorry for those who need rudeness as “fuel” to prop up their fragile ego.

As Confucius said:

“It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”

Of course I have to talk about this rudeness we see on social media. I’ve never really commented anywhere except on Steemit… for whatever reason, I just can’t bring myself to do it on other platforms. Any comment, good or bad. Well, that’s another discussion altogether.

But here’s what I’ve noticed: people who behave rudely online, especially on social media, often feel a certain power over their “targets.” That sense of power gives them a strange kind of satisfaction, maybe even pleasure. And if the other person responds or fights back, that only fuels them more, because in their minds they’ve already “won.”

If their real lives are miserable, then this online rudeness becomes one of the very few sources of joy or release they have.

And the worst part? There are almost never any real consequences. They know they won’t lose anything, they won’t be punished, so they just keep doing it.

There could be many reasons behind rude behaviour.

But the wannabe rude ones; the fake, try-hard arrogance?

I unlove them the most.

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So yeah, I had to vent this out. I was actually thinking of writing about something else today — but this has been bothering me since the afternoon, and I just needed to get it off my chest.