This year I finally achieved the ability to observe myself having feelings. This has helped me with my daughter as I do not feel anger as much now. I watch the feelings come into my body and then I slowly decide what I will do with them. I am not a perfect parent and have some issues, but this one thing has helped me not act on anger because anger infects others and does not solve problems at all. I'm not repressing anger, but simply letting me think about what the anger symbolizes.
It's a good post you wrote! Thank you.