I am a huge "basketcase" at times. But i don't call it a weakness, i consider it a strength. Its the ability to voice how you feel and what you think, even if other people percieve it as being weak, or whining. Like really screw them. who made them the judge of you?

I am an emotional writer, in my art and poetry. writing something emotional can take minutes because it pours out, or days because i get overwhelmed or tired. functioning in a calm way is difficult then, yet some people expect you to just deal with the emotional onslaught. its like they dont have the experience, so cant relate. sensitivity becomes a handicap when hostility gets compounded by daily application.

i dont know anyone that is perfect, who can say they have never been mean or hostile. the intent, tho is what counts. i think at times i come across to people as mean or hypocritical because of my anxiety and history of having been bullied. i grew up having to protect myself from verbal and physical abuse because no one else was around to stop it, or because that was just the standard at that time. so i am super-sensitive to perceived disrespect or hostility.

also i am super protective when i see people doing it to others. when i attack people, they're like, "what did i do?". and half the time its because they are thoughtless about their actions. for example, if i hear people dissing someone who isnt there. i heard someone dissing their girlfriend, and it wasnt facts, it was like, "shes such a bitch, what a fat stupid blah blah..." to me that isnt justified, or factual. thats just abusing someone who cant defend themselves cuz that dude got butt hurt. and ya it happens alot. from both sexes. it still makes me mad.

p.s. you are absolutely beautiful. dont listen to the haters.