How Do You Spot A Liar?

in #life7 years ago

How Do You Spot A Liar?


If you're anything like me then you've never told a lie in your life either and often wonder why people make claims that they know are untrue, including the one you just read. Most of the time we don't really mean any harm when misrepresenting a fact; they're just little white lies to make your life slightly more convenient, like 'it's lovely to see you again' or 'we're just 5 minutes away' or 'of course I'm a qualified gynecologist.'

nose.jpg
When he lies, his nose gets bigger, making the fact that he has no nostrils even more pronounced

Of course some lies can be more pernicious and have far reaching consequences. These can range from solemn oaths pronounced when one's hand is held over a book that claims the Earth is 6000 years old, to very simple utterances like 'I do.' But what drives us to lie? And are there reliable ways to spot lies? Well, as someone with a PhD in behavior psychology and 40 years of professional experience, I feel I'm qualified to shed some light on this topic.

Why Do We Lie?

Studies have shown that in a typical conversation with a stranger, the average person will lie over 3 times in the first 10 minutes, although that average drops down to a little below 1 if you discount Donald Trump. This level of ubiquitous pathological lying in our species would seem to suggest there may exists an evolutionary reason for it.

Researchers postulate that as social beings, we humans have undergone an evolutionary arms race between lying and spotting lies. This is because historically, the art of deception and the ability to detect it both yield survival and reproductive advantages. The long running contest between 'of course you don't look fat in that' and suspecting he's probably sleeping with your skinny ass sister, is to blame for us all being expert prevaricators.

There is evidence that other primates are also capable of lying. Some of you may have heard of the story of Koko the gorilla, who, when confronted, famously used sign language to blame a broken steel sink in her enclosure on her tiny pet kitten. Of course the only first-hand account of this incident came from a maintenance worker whose sole job it was to keep all the sinks in the gorilla enclosure in good working condition. The point is that we can find the evolutionary roots of lying in other animals as well.


Even tastier than a banana

How Can You Spot Lies?


Sometimes you can spot a liar just by looking at them. For example, if they're male, Asian, write comedy on Steemit and have a 10 inch penis, they're probably a liar. But there are also a multitude of signals that people tend to unwittingly give off when they're telling a fib. For example, I have a propensity of scratching my hemorrhoids and sniffing my fingers involuntarily every time I'm being a little deceptive. I think it's just nervousness, we all do it. I also believe I'm one of the best poker players in the world because nobody ever dares play against me again, even when most of them get lucky and win my money the first time around.

Here are some other common symptoms exhibited by other people when they're lying, or me when I'm telling the truth:

  • Non contracted sentence - In an effort to compensate for the lack of veracity in their claim, liars will often use more formal language. Eg: 'Trust me when I say I will not be using this same example twice in a row.'
  • Conditional qualifiers - Similarly, when lying, people tend to over-qualify their statements. Eg: 'Trust me when I say I will not be using this same example twice in a row.' Certain qualifiers themselves are almost guaranteed to be lies. A popular one being 'I'm not racist but...'
  • Distancing language - We tend to distance ourselves from the subject when we're not entirely truthful: Bill Clinton famously said 'I did not have sex with that woman which, thinking he was referring to Hillary, everyone initially believed until he added 'Miss Lewinsky.' Referring to her as 'that woman' was a subconscious attempt to distance himself from her.

There are also a number of common nonverbal cues, and I don't mean all the lies you've read so far in this article in writing, I mean body language signals as to when one might be lying:

crossed.jpg
Make sure the photographer is not behind you when you're reading your wedding vows

  • Direct eye contact - The idea that liars have difficulty making eye contact is a common misconception. To the contrary, they're usually quite desperate to look unfazed as well wanting to see if you've bought their story. So be very skeptical when your spouse comes home late from work one day and all of a sudden starts staring you down like a champion boxer.
  • Feet pointing towards exit - Liars instinctively wish to get out of what they deem to be a threatening interrogation and may unconsciously posture themselves to leave the room. Unless they're farting a lot, then they probably just need to go to the toilet really badly.
  • Their mouth is moving - only works when they're politicians.

Conclusion

While it would be awfully convenient to be able to detect liars by their abnormally long nose or their wearing pants that are inexplicably engulfed in flames all the time, spotting lies in the real world is, unfortunately, an unreliable science and none of the above signals on their own would constitute conclusive proof that someone is lying. However, given the context, they can help to inform you of the likelihood that someone isn't being entirely truthful.

I suppose the lesson here is if you have to lie, a good memory never hurts as you'll need to keep track of all your individual fabrications so as to not give yourself away. Also, try to do it over the phone or email so they won't get a read on your sweaty little face. Finally, a good memory never hurts as you'll need to keep track of all your individual fabrications so as to not give yourself away.

What are some of the dumbest lies you've heard or told over the years? Let me know in the comments below!


References
Why Do We Lie
Former CIA Officer Will Teach You How to Spot a Lie l Digiday
The Science of Lying


Image Sources1,2,3


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By his nose of course.

haha I guess you shouldn't lie too much if your'e allergic to pollen :)

I'm delighted with your work. Excellent raise the mood. Not everyone is able to express their thoughts like this and bring them to the reader. Thank you very much for your work. At the moment you are in the first place. And I always read your work. Good luck.

thanks a lot for reading my articles
i'm flattered

A history of lies is the best indicator.

I just got introduced to this site and I have to agree with you! I was reading the first 3 posts all made by him and am loving them! I'm also really impressed by this site in general and so many awesome people! <3

Same, just joined and is pretty interesting

In my case, I caught their text messages and saw the cheating first hand. Never understood what it was like to be cheated on. Spotting a liar after 13 years is devastating and eye opening.

i am very weak in spoting a liar, i trust people on their words but most of the time people do not turned out the way they talk or the way they look...

I am very strong in spotting liars cause they act fake and because of that i spot it almost every time,something feels off....I have ADD and my gut feeling is also very strong and was always right in the end...and a lot of people with ADHD or ADD have that...and usually they touch their nose or other parts of their face is one the most important sign.

woah, that's a pretty heavy one for the first reponse
i've not been cheated on either so I can't imagine how it feels
sorry to hear

Well... I don't think I ever lie. Or maybe I do? Not sure...

It's a good thing you haven't. BUT if you have the right attitude, pray, seek comfort or therapy you will see a door close and a new one open. Depression is exactly the word.. going DOWN. The strongest people lift themselves up, and if they reach out for help it doesn't mean they are weak. It gives other people a chanc to do good, and it creates hope for the person down. I found my solemate after that fiasco, and I could never be happier with my spouse (although not or perfect.. but who is)

Dude, you always write about topics that deserves a lot of discussion, so I just wanted to commend you for that. It's an underrated ability that definitely deserves praise. So, kudos.

I agree with the points you discussed, and yeah, it's hard to spot a lie because of all the intricacies involved with it. What's a lie anyway? Is there even a solid definition for it? I mean, what if a person convinces himself that something is true even though it isn't, does that count?

There are so many variables involved, so I don't think that humans would be able to accurately tell every time. Sure, there are some who read cues that come close, but I don't think they have a 100% accuracy. Too many points to discuss with this topic, what with all the lie detectors we have in the community haha!

thanks a lot for checking out my post again jedau
it's true that a very formal definition isn't easy, as there's self deception and delusion and cognitive dissonance involved
as well as just genuine mistake

No thanks necessary, man. Your topics really make it easy to comment. I just wish I had that same skill to pick discussion-worthy topics. Yeah, "cognitive dissonance" was what I initially wanted to use as an example, but the concept slipped my mind.

I can tell 7 lies in a sentence consisting of 6 words.

impressive, you must be surrounded by lawyers

What are some of the dumbest lies you've heard or told over the years?

Oh, there were so many ... maybe one of the biggest was when one politician claimed to make his country "great again", just to get elected. :) But ok, maybe actually he believed in what he was saying, so it may not be a good example ...

The most recent lie I just experienced in 'Steemit Chat'. One user claimed to upvote nearly everybody to get some 'upps' in return ... but it seems he didn't know there is https://steemdb.com/ ...

Concerning animals, they are also lying a lot: have you heard of that beaver which always hit his tail loudly on the water surface when it found some good food? Normally this behavior is used as alert signal when predators are approaching. So the beaver told its colleagues to hide while he could consume the food alone. :)
(I will write an article about lying animals as soon as time allows.)

First of all thank God that Pinocchio doesn't have nostrils! Do you know how gross that would look? Would anything stay in them as they grew or would gravity have its way with him?

Ask your cat why he thinks the kitten broke the sink. I'm curious.

Will other players actually touch the chips you lose to them or do they just fold every time to avoid that? It is an excellent strategy by the way.

Worst lie: "Branson Missouri is as much fun as Las Vegas".

maybe he has a lot of nostril hair to hold on to the contents, you never know
that gorilla's still a better liar than trump :p

Hands are bigger too. But Trump would tell you his are much, much bigger. They are amazing!!!

I spot a trafaliar :) I didn't know the stats were so bad, 3 times in 10 mins.

haha in my case it's more 10 in 3 mins
but yes, I think the research does show those numbers i'm afraid

A good memory never hurts as you'll need to keep track of all your individual fabrications so as to not give yourself away.
That's entirely my own take on your pretty darn good article.

BTW, nice to meet you.
No, really, you can trust me when I say that.

I used to lie all the time and get away with it but then I noticed that when you lie you have so much more fake information to remember.
And I don't have fantastic memory so I slipped up once or twice.
Then I stopped, saw no benefit in what I was doing and started being a better person.
Now I'm a great person.
Don't lie.
:)

hmm i can't relate, i've never lied

tumblr_ngguhbHrab1rzgh02o1_500.png

My legs are rather long, about half my body size. Lol

That's why you left the dark side of the lies! :D

The only thing you need to do is follow your instincts.
Honestly they never lie. We must all follow our emotions as they are part of us.. If something is bothering you on an emotional level, then a certain factor in your life is cousing it.
Great post and much love from me friend💕💖💘.
Cheers and all the best

thanks for having a look
glad you enjoyed it

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