I've been a bit of a bad boy today. But 'll be better tomorrow, promise.

It was a strange day today. I ended up not getting much done in the way of paid work, which probably left me a bit frustrated.

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So I ended up commenting on a couple of YouTube videos. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did.
Sorry.

But they really, really annoyed me. So I just couldn’t help myself.

What were the videos about?

The Flat Earth.

As I said in one of my comments on some poor sod’s channel, I wish the earth was flat, that there were lots more unexplored places, wild and free, to go and see. That, if I could just cross the Antarctic wastes, there would be vistas no other man had seen before. Such an adventure would surely be worth all that I have, and more.

So I watched their videos, suspended disbelief, and treated it like a movie. It’s a nice fantasy trip to somewhere magical.

I try to ignore their facts and figures and stuff that is just plain nonsense. And the logic holes a five year old could back a truck and trailer through, while watching Tellytubbies. And for the most part I can.

But then both of the videos I commented on made the same fatal mistake, which was why I commented.

They said that in the southern hemisphere there are no direct flights between Africa and New Zealand and New Zealand and South America. All of the flights get routed through the northern hemisphere.

And this they point out, makes perfect sense on a flat earth. The flights form straight lines. There is no other reason for the flights to operate as they do.

Except there are good reasons. Oh, and there are direct flights that don’t cross the equator.

The reasons are that it is more economic to fly up to the northern hemisphere first, because more passengers want to fly to Europe from Africa than want to fly from Africa to New Zealand. Lots of people want to fly from Europe to New Zealand. So it makes much more sense to fly via Europe. You inconvenience a very small amount of people wanting to fly from Africa to New Zealand by making them route through Europe. And you maximise the chances of filling the aircraft for both legs of the journey.

So this sort of routing is all about profit for the airline. It makes perfect sense.

As for there being no direct flights –

In 1999 I flew from Auckland, in New Zealand to Santiago in Chile. We stopped off in Tonga and Easter Island on the way. At no time did we cross into the northern hemisphere. And no, we didn’t do it while I was asleep because I was awake for the whole damn flight, staring out the window, bored out of my tree, hoping to catch a glimpse of my destination and the end of the flight.

In 2000 I flew back the other way from Santiago. Again we stopped off in Easter Island and Tonga.

In 2005 I flew from Auckland, still in New Zealand, to Johannesburg in South Africa. We stopped off in Perth Australia, on the way there and on the way back. We didn’t stop off anywhere in the Indian Ocean because there are no islands to stop off on. It’s a very long flight.

If we were going to be routed through the northern hemisphere, I would have stopped off for a night or two on the way to break up the journey. But the direct flight was the cheapest, so…

And this is what set me off today.

Here are these people stating as fact that I didn’t fly direct to South America or Africa. That it’s all a big hoax, a secret.
So let’s examine that for just a second or two.

It’s a flat earth and we are being lied to, to keep it a secret and only the elites know about it.

Just the select few know the truth. People like:

• Airline pilots – obviously they need to know so they can fly the planes
• Air traffic controllers – so they can direct the flights
• Military pilots – they need to know where to go to bomb people
• Drone pilots – for the same reason
• Aircraft technicians that service the flight controls – so they can calibrate the instruments
• Software developers – the guys who build the software that manages things like the auto-pilot
• Software developer’s girlfriends – hey, if you have a secret like this, you’re going to use it to try and score!
• The eventual kids of software developers and their girlfriends will know – because you don’t want to lie to them
• Anyone their kids talk to will find out – because kids just can’t keep secrets
• The kid’s cats, dogs, rabbits and the neighbour's turtle
• Then you have the airline ticketing agents – they need to know what route to put you on to get to your destination, so they’ll need to know about the Flat Earth. And they can’t help telling their grandma, because they want her to have a nice holiday in the sun, but she thinks it will take too long to get there.
• And once she gets back, everyone over the age of 60 will know
• Anyone participating in sailing around the world would need to know – so they don’t sail off the course and get disqualified.

…and the list goes on, for quite some time.

So to recap – the Flat Earth is a secret that pretty much everyone in the world except me knows about. And it is being kept a secret to control the masses (that would be me again) and prevent them (me) from… doing what exactly?

Joining the elite club that knows about the Flat Earth.

Why didn’t they invite me in the first place? Are they afraid I’ll go out and discover all the best bits?

If you are a Flat Earther, please don’t be offended by this post. You are welcome to believe whatever you want. You don’t have to be able to prove it. It’s your belief and that’s all you need.

But please don’t tell me I can’t fly from my country to another country without going all the way to the other side of the world.
Because you’re wrong, and I have, and hopefully one day, I will do so again.

Maybe I’ll fly to your country and we can meet, and I’ll show you the route my journey took.

Until then, keep making entertaining videos about how the earth is flat, and the sun and moon are only a couple of miles away, and we live under a dome.

I especially like the one where the flat earth sits on the back of four giant elephants, which in turn stand on the back of the Great A’Tuin, the giant star turtle as he swims through space.