Deal breakers

in #life6 years ago

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When we think about the kind of person we would like to date, we often list the qualities we most desire in a partner. We also have our deal breaker - qualities that disqualify someone as a dating prospect, regardless of how many other wonderful traits they have.

In every relationship, there are limit or deal breaker, everyone has got them spoken or unspoken.

A deal breaker is often a way of saying, there is nothing wrong with who you are and nothing wrong with who I am but there's a fundamental lack of compatibility here and compromising will cost us our happiness.
Some deal breaker;

        DISHONESTY  

This is a broad term but any kind of dishonesty is a deal breaker. example lying. Both men and women seek someone they can trust since they invest their time, energy and money in to them. If any tells a small lie, it signals that the person is capable of lying to them and it increases the person's risk profile.
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        POOR HYGIENE 

This cut across gender, everyone wants to feel safe with their partners. partners want to be able to kiss, hug and hold hands without wondering if it's safe.

      HEALTH PROBLEMS 

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Such as mental illness, STDs (sexually transmitted diseases ), addiction of any kind, self-harm/drug or other substance abuse are deal breakers for most people.

      CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR 

When a partner threatens the other with abandonment when they don't get things their way or threats of self-harm, yelling, physical aggression, isolating you just because of they want things their way or want to be in control. Telling you how to live your life is a deal breaker.
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INFEDILITY
This the comonest deal breaker for most in relationships. Most people can't take it.

       TOO MUCH DRAMA

Being overly dramatic in any relationship whether it's a partner, friend or family is a deal breaker. Too much drama can be so exhausting and most people don't have time or energy for that.

      LACK OF RESPECT 

Respect is very important in relationships either earned or they refuse to give it. In either case, no one wants to be with someone Who doesn't respect him/her. If your partner didn't earn it then it's their fault and they have to examine their behavior but when they refuse to give it despite the honorable action and behavior, then its a deal breaker.

 FAILING TO GIVE ENOUGH SPACE

Most people like their own space, being alone to be able to think without interruption, read or do nothing at all.

        DIFFERENT GOALS

Being incompatible in terms of what you want out of life. Building separate lives based on entirely separate interest is a deal breaker. Differences in beliefs are okay to some extent but in the long run, can cause problems in the relationship.

  HOW TO HANDLE DEAL BREAKERS

Most situations don't begin as deal-breakers; they become deal breakers when they are ignored or inadequately addressed over a long period of time.
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Every relationship is a matter of compromise, nobody gets a 100% of what they want in a partner. Relationships often comes with a price of entry, because no one is perfect. The price is the thing you will have to accept in exchange for being with that person. Sometimes the price is relatively low, an inconvenience that can be easily overlooked, other times it's considerably great and requires more consideration on a persons part. It's important that couples cultivate a willing attitude to consider altering their beliefs or behavior in order to create a deeper level of trust and respect in the relationship. If there is no willingness on the part of an alcoholic to address their drinking, no desire on the part of an abusive partner to get help, no willingness for couples to discuss openly and respectfully with spouse, the chances of any of those situations being or becoming a deal breaker is greatly increased.

It's important in relationship building that partners be open to reflecting on ways in which may be unknowingly contributing to the situation or to discovering ways in which they can be more effective in dealing with their concerns.

Most things people consider to be deal breakers are an outgrowth of stigma, of ignorance, of social pressure and its worth scrutinizing your deal breaker and just why you have them.

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