Are You Emotionally Generous?

How generous square measure you together with your emotions?
Do you praise individuals often? does one praise others at all? does one tend to envision others for his or her positive traits or does one harp on their flaws? does one obtain to bring happiness to individuals around you or square measure you only targeted on creating yourself happy?

Emotional Generosity and Emotional trait
Emotional generosity is that the act of creating others feel positive while not expecting something reciprocally.
Emotionally generous individuals unceasingly bring happiness, love, and quality to others while not expecting something reciprocally. they're perpetually puzzling over to form individuals around them feel higher. They love laudatory others, recognizing their strengths, showing appreciation, encouraging, and simply rising individuals.
The opposite of emotional generosity is emotional trait.
Emotionally stingy individuals have a mingy angle toward sharing and giving. they're reluctant to praise others, typically size them up before expressing approval. they're faultfinding and demanding of however others act. they're not one to encourage, support, or sympathize after you want it. looking forward to them to feel higher could be a dangerous plan as you finally end up feeling worse concerning yourself.
7 Causes of Emotional trait
Emotionally stingy individuals tend to behave this fashion because of one or a lot of of those reasons:
Lack. They lack happiness, that is why they don’t have any positive emotions to share. Most of the time they're at bay in their own mental cages to deem others.
Misery. they're miserable on the within and need others to be like them too. After all, misery loves company.
Selfishness. They don’t need others to expertise what they need gained for themselves. The few things they need, they worked laborious to induce them, in order that they don’t assume it’s truthful for others to induce constant.
Ego. To them, laudatory somebody suggests that acknowledging that he/she is superior. this implies admitting that they themselves don't seem to be pretty much as good as him/her.
Competitiveness. They see individuals as competition and don't need to share what they need.
Fear. Being kind suggests that gap up and being vulnerable. they're afraid to be hurt if their kindness isn't came.
Zero-sum mentality. they need the assumption that no matter is gained by one is lost by another. They believe that if they share what they need, they're going to have less for themselves. To them, just one will win whereas others lose.
Unfortunately, emotional trait is kind of common in today’s society. in a very place wherever we have a tendency to square measure unceasingly pushed to contend with others, wherever we have a tendency to square measure perpetually measured against unending ideals, individuals learn to worry for his or her self-interests, not others. Ego is that the name of the game; we’re bushed a race; it’s all concerning winning and beating others.
If you’ve been around showing emotion stingy individuals before, you’ll understand that it’s terribly debilitating. those that square measure tense concerning acknowledging or encouraging you, instead being important concerning your each fault. those that decide you while not recognizing your feelings. individuals don’t care concerning your emotions as a result of you're not their concern.
Emotional trait in My Life
The truth is, when I was younger, I was really stingy with my emotions. I always felt like I was in a competition with others around me, a mindset fostered by schools, peers, and teachers, and taken to the extreme by my perfectionist self. In school, teachers regularly rebuked us for any minor misdeed and judged us, while treating good performance as a given. Among classmates, we were taught to view each other as competition because of the scarcity-driven environment (only X students can get into X school, only one person can be the best student, etc.).

I also had a zero-sum mindset. I thought that if I were to share what I had with others, I would have less for myself. In a country where there is scarcity in many resources be it self-imposed or real, the zero-sum mindset is ingrained deeply. Many of my actions and peers’ actions were often centered around staying ahead because the Singapore society is unforgiving, and once you fail your failure gets deeply etched into your report card and life. simply like my peers seldom praised anyone except the elites and wealthy individuals, I seldom praised others too. To praise meant acknowledging that others were higher, that I wasn’t adequate.
My zero-sum mental attitude LED to self-serving behaviors. If I had one thing smart, i'd typically keep it for myself. To me, the nice things I got were results of my very own labor — others ought to work effortlessly if they wished to induce ahead. i used to be just like the fate police, perpetually assessing if individuals were worth of my kindness and joy before giving any to them.
However, rather than feeling higher, I felt showing emotion barren. Despite my efforts to stay the most effective for myself, I didn’t feel more happy. i used to be perpetually scrutinizing others whereas clinging on to praises and happiness for myself, in a very bid to form myself feel higher, a lot of superior.
My 1st Real Encounter With Emotional Generosity
During my place with my ex-company in 2005, I had a manager World Health Organization was the foremost showing emotion generous person I had met up until that time. He was always caring about people’s welfare, with work coming in a close second. He was extremely encouraging and often openly praised people whether the situation called for it or not. When I first met him, I thought he was being a little over the top as his praises (for me) seemed unwarranted half the time (Excellent job? But this is just a normal piece of work that I did…?).
After a while though, I started to really look forward to our meetings. Why? Because I knew that they would be positive and upbeat. Being praised didn’t make me lazy or cocky; if anything it motivated me to work extra hard, to recognize my own potential and to stretch my own limits. His gestures and praises never came across as fake or insincere too.
I also noticed how everyone in the team loved having him as their manager. His positivity made him a very magnetic leader. I also got to know my VP, an extremely charismatic and strong lady, who was equally generous to everyone.
Have you ever met such people before? People who are so positive that their energy just lights up the room? 😀 They are one of a kind. Just talking to them for a few minutes can make you different, excited!
For me, this was the first time I came across such people. It opened Pine Tree State up to associate degree entirely totally different sort of kindness I ne'er knew, and galvanized Pine Tree State to be such someone moreover. This expertise planted in Pine Tree State the primary seed of doubt relating to the mindsets and behavior i used to be instructed as a child, and whether or not they were limiting Pine Tree State from being my best self.
Moving To A lifetime of Emotional Generosity
Two years later, I had graduated and was operating within the same company as a full-time worker. I Pine Tree Statet another colleague World Health Organization extremely affected me along with his kindness. He was very nice and would go all the thanks to facilitate Pine Tree State, together with others, on any matter. What created this a lot of outstanding was that we have a tendency to were in all unrelated roles and he had no reason to assist Pine Tree State in any respect. i used to be terribly touched by his gestures.
Introspection
These few experiences created Pine Tree State question my approach of thinking. As I mirrored, I stepped out of my shoes to assess my behavior from associate degree outsider’s perspective.

To my shock, I realized that my behavior all this while made me no different from the kind of people I dislike and feel repelled by — people who are selfish, uncaring, and apathetic. In my quest to be my best self — I thought that by being stingy with my emotions, I was being a better person — my emotionally stingy behavior was doing the exact opposite. It made me an ugly, selfish individual, not at all the kind and helpful person I wanted to be.
Yet, I was oblivious to this for so long was because I was living in a bubble all this while, fighting for one goal after another. When all you’ve been exposed to is emotionally stingy behavior, and this behavior is deemed normal in your environment and even commonly displayed by peers and role-model figures, it becomes your only comparison point. It is not possible to know what you’re missing when you do not even know what is missing. And I believe this is true for many emotionally stingy people I knew.
Knowing this, I subsequently worked on being more empathetic and compassionate toward others. This moment marked a critical point in my growth, something that I elaborated in this post (another being when I discovered my purpose). This was the point when I became genuinely driven by compassion for others, to become someone I respect and love.
From then on, I started treating people with unconditional love and respect.
I began to let go of my duality mindset — I stopped seeing people as separate entities, but instead as a part of me regardless of whether I knew them or not.
I try to behave kindly toward everyone, even people I don’t know. These include friends, co-workers, service staff, and even strangers.
I try to assume the best out of people and their intentions, unless proven otherwise. This has meant getting hurt, getting turned off, and being let down, but it has not made me change this behavior or thinking, just how I deal with the connection later.
I strive to make everyone I talk to feel better by the end of our encounter.
I focus on praising people and highlighting good things about them, as hostile remarking what I don’t like or see as faults.
The basis of those acts isn't concerning whether or not these individuals merit the kindness or not. it's concerning giving to envision somebody in a very higher place, as a result of most are equal and deserves higher. None of those acts were/are through with the expectation of one thing reciprocally. I do them as a result of I care, as a result of I acknowledge and respect others’ emotions, and since i would like to envision them in a very higher place.
The fascinating issue is that giving has not left Pine Tree State with less for myself. I still feel positive and elated, if no more, from giving and serving to others. I’m genuinely happy after I see a fellow being in a very higher place. and therefore the positive comments and thank-yous i buy from you guys Pine Tree Statean the planet to me, and provides Pine Tree State the facility to share and project to millions out there daily.
Of course there'll continuously be the dangerous eggs, those that don’t appreciate you or attempt to raise demand for a lot of while not respecting your wants. I shared concerning them before here, here, here, and here. For these individuals, you treat them amorously and respect and after allow them to go, while focusing on the more positive connections. Being emotionally generous doesn’t mean blindly giving without respecting your needs; it’s about giving in a way that honors both you and others.
Are You Emotionally Generous?
Take a deep look at yourself right now and think about how you think and act on a daily basis toward others. Are you emotionally generous or stingy?
Do you tend to judge or criticize others? Or do you praise and focus on others’ strengths and abilities?
Do you see people as separate from you, whom you need to guard yourself against? Or do you see them as humans together with you on a common journey?
Are you always thinking about yourself and your needs? Or do you actively care about others and their emotions?
When not with the person in question, do you tend to bad mouth or think about them critically? Or do you praise and speak highly of them?
Do you take good work for granted? Or do you appreciate and give thanks for it?
Are you always ready to tear down and negatively criticize people’s content, artwork, videos, writing, etc.? Or are you ever ready to celebrate, appreciate, and give positive and constructive criticism if solicited?
The former set of behaviors is tied to emotional stinginess. The latter is tied to emotional generosity.
If you aren’t emotionally generous, try it out and see where it takes you. You don’t have to do anything huge or daunting. Just start with a small act that uplifts others — such as a smile, a praise, a show of concern, empathy, a random act of kindness, or a show of appreciation. Do this out of the kindness of your heart without expecting anything in return.
As you do that, notice how you start to be more positive. You start to live less in your head, and more in the real world. You become driven by love, not ego or fear. You start to care less about judgments and perceptions, and more about helping others. And you may be pleasantly surprised by the kindness others will share along the way. 🙂
At the same time, as you sprinkle positivity to others, realize that you are effectively planting little seeds of generosity in them too. Perhaps you may inspire others to become more emotionally generous like you. Perhaps you start doing for them what my ex-manager and ex-VP once did for me — open my eyes to a different kind of kindness, on how to be a better person to others. 🙂
Start giving these days and expertise for yourself the power of emotional generosity. it's by being showing emotion generous, not showing emotion stingy, that you just begin to attain abundance altogether areas of life, each for yourself et al.. 🙂