how long does it take if your parachute doesn't open The rest of your life

Chapter 1
For some reason when I was working in London as a Postie jumping out of a plane crept into my thoughts. I don't know where it came from or Why but after mentioning it to work friends I learnt a fellow postman called Stevie was actually an experienced jumper and before I knew it I had signed up and was following him down to a parachute club in Kent.
The training process consisted of a day learning about kit, safety procedures, jumping out of mockup planes and landing and rolling after which, Provided the winds weren't too high or the clouds too low, the day was supposed to end with a late afternoon jump. By the time my training ended the weather was much too windy and it was only after a night at a local B&B that Sunday morning found me sitting in the doorway of the plane with my chute hooked on. I heard the voice of George say " go" and the cold air and empty space hit me. Once the chute was opened the most noticeable thing about the canopy ride was the sudden quiet and how unusual it is to be hanging so high in the sky. nothing under your feet. Landing was bumpy but was fine.
I heard many of the people on my course say they would do it again but when I was asked I really wasn't sure as It was all still sinking in. In the end I was the only one who actually went back and even when i did I still wasn't really sure how far I could go. After the second weekend at the drop zone, and without any plan my life turned into a cycle of signing up for a jump, whispering to myself as the plane climbed, "if I can just get down safe I won't do it again". but then as soon as I landed, My name was up on the board again, I was on my way up into the sky again and again I was muttering "get me down safe" Once after sitting next to me in the plane another jumper asked me "how can you shake so much and still get out of the door?" All I can say is that as I watched all the other sky divers playing in the sky I knew I wanted to be doing that too!
While some skydivers did seem fearless, that wasn't me. Even as I learnt and gained trust in my self and even as I shook less and flew more, the fact is the first jump of any weekend was me just getting control of me, if that makes sense. I still muttered get me down safe but I stopped promising I won't go up again.
Learning how to fly has changed a lot since I started. At the time I was learning, everyone started on the static line at a height of 2500 ft and In order to progress through to freefall you first had to do at least 6 stable jumps which were recorded by the jump instructor as Good all the way GATW basically tummy down, arms relaxed and bent at the elbows and legs loose and bent up at the knee. Any unplanned rolls, or turns or wobbles during deployment is not what you want, a stable position needs to be second nature. After 6 GATW Static line jumps you needed 6 GATW 3 second delay jumps and then 6 GATW on 10 sec delay jumps. Even if you did 5GATW and then messed up you started again and needed to do 6 GATW on the trot. While I was messing up loads and getting fed up with it One girl was sailing through. She did 6 GATW every time. 6 GATW static, 6 GATW 3 seconds, 6 GATW 10 seconds. During one later jump she went unstable, and with no experience of how to recover after mess ups she struggled, pulled, luckily landed safely and scared herself so much she never jumped again. It turns out all my mess ups were in fact treasures.
I succeeded and failed through all the first stages towards freefall with a parachute that burbled on opening. If you are in a good stable position the area where the pilot chute comes out is a sort of a vacuam where the pilot chute sits on your back and may stay there instead of flying off and dragging the parachute out because theres no draught to catch it. Once you have pulled, your ripcord a slight look over your shoulder to see if the chute has deployed fully should dislodge the pilot chute and solve the burble problem. I had a block about this, Felt the chute wasn't opening, forgot to look over shoulder, panic a bit, pilot chute freed. Not stable on opening. This led to one incredibly bad jump, by the time my canopy was deployed both my legs and one arm were tangled in the chords of the parachute. I freed my arm and one leg easily but it took me all the way to the ground to untangle the second leg. When I asked Chris the pilot what could happen he said "well you die" All I had to do was a calmly glance over my shoulder but I didn't. Again and again I panicked instead of just a look over my shoulder, Why?
After my terrible jump I was trying to put myself back together and needed time but one jumper put my name up. Some people want you to learn at their pace not yours. I said no over and over he said yes over and over. All my instincts said no but I gave in. It was cold, it was getting dark. We got up in the sky and I said No. I am not going. The shame of it. I knew it would end badly if I jumped. This was skydiving the army way and your not allowed to say no. George was ok. Sometimes, he said its braver to say NO. The refusal to jump was a perfectly sane one The thing I did wrong was to give in and go up in the first place. Chris, very much a soldier pilot disowned me at this point but I did think he gave me a forgiving quizzical look when I later told him about the tangled jump I had.
For my tangled jump George described me leaving the plane as "earth, sky, earth, sky try static line next." so I went the following weekend expecting a static line jump from 2500 feet. Instead George explained the plan to me! "Dave will get out and stand on the wheel of the Rocket, you will get out and stand on the step and I will be just inside the door. We'll go off with Dave holding one of your arms and I'll be holding the other. OK" A solo static line jump at 2500 or a 5000 foot buddy jump How could I say no! The most amazing thing as we left the plane was to see my two sky dive friends in the sky with me.
George had said once they left me I was to wait 5 secs and then pull but he said I waited 1and pulled but he did describe me as steady as a rock.
This jump cleared whatever the problem was and my stable 10 sec delays got sorted. Next comes learning to fly.
What I learnt through skydiveing was that even if your in a situation that calls for panicking you hold off on the panicking til you have the situation sorted and then if you still need to panic go ahead.