Tuesday 1/9/2020
Today I was again reminded of how unfair life is.... it's so tiresome living with my parents, knowing they have no idea how much they've damaged me. I want to keep it that way, butt still... hearing my mom say, "you should be a singer, I've told you that many times..." It's like a knife straight to my heart. She has no idea how much pain she has caused me. How suppressing my feminine side—and my masculine side to avoid conflict—over the last two decades ruined me... That I did this because of their constant and expressed hate for 'LGBT' and the effeminate—really anything not traditional heterosexual and gender normative—with the knowledge that they would never accept me. It almost killed me and has permanently scared me. I cannot forgive them. The lost time and suffering I experienced cannot be atoned for, and they would never do so anyways. I am the black sheep, I am like a bird that can not fly because if I attempt to do so I'll be pecked to death. I am like a sunflower that never received sun. I am a lover who was never loved. I am who I am. All I live for is accumulating enough money until I can be free to do what I was born to do, sing freely... LIVE FREELY. GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH.
Love Voxxe~
You have to keep going regardless how tough it is, because if you're going to stop on the treadmill of life you'll slip up and it will become even harder.