9 phrases that men are afraid to hear from their wives

No matter how different the couples may be, the reasons for quarrels and the ways of expressing discontent are all about the same. Psychologists call phrases that offend men. If the partner did not wash the dishes, left a mess, did not guess with a gift or does not pay enough attention, I want to tell him everything, but if the relationship is dear to you, do not resort to criticism.

I KNOW THAT IS LATE, BUT WE NEED TO TALK

“When you want to discuss something, put it off until morning. Conversations are more productive when both partners are rested and ready to talk. In the old series, such scenes were loved, when the wife demands to talk and her husband wants to sleep, nowadays the problem has become an epidemic, ”writes the psychotherapist Elizabeth Lamotte.

YOU ARE IN THE SHORTS LOOKING AS A TEEN.” DON'T WANT TO CHANGE? 

You do not like it when a partner makes snide comments about a hairstyle or a baggy T-shirt? Surely he reacts the same way when you look askance at his pants with pockets on his knees. “What makes you think that you can set standards in clothing?” “You have to” make him feel that you are trying to control him, ”explains psychotherapist Susan Heitler.

YOU WOULD GIVE A PACKAGE BETTERThe partner was sure that the expensive bag, which the seller had persuaded to take, demonstrates generosity and care. “Thank, even if not so happy with the gift. Men want to look like winners and are frustrated when their efforts are not appreciated. Therefore, it is better to express appreciation, then to mention which version of the gift may be more meaningful to you, ”advises the psychotherapist Gary Neumann.

MY FORMER WOULD NEVER EVER SO MADE

“Comparing the husband with the former or heroes of the show will lead him to doubt whether you love him,” says psychotherapist Kurt Smith.

YOU CAN'T END YOURSELF WHEN YOU LEAVE A SHOT IN THE SINK

Neither men nor women like to hear non-constructive criticism. “Instead of criticizing, tell me that you will be very grateful if he does something that you think is right. “I really appreciate it when you ...” The more you show your appreciation, the more often you will receive it, ”explains psychotherapist Tammi Nelson, author of the book New Monogamy.

YOU NEED SEX ONLY

“Yes, this is an important part of life, but if you assume that a partner does something for you just for the sake of sex, you will insult him. Men want sex and get pleasure from it, but they hate it when they are suspected of selfish motives. And even if these suspicions are true in this particular case, this does not mean that this is the only reason why they are ready to do something, ”said Gary Neumann.

YOU NEVER DO ...

Throw accusations of "you always" or "you never" bad idea, exclude them from the lexicon. Focus on what's happening now, don't make overly generalizing statements, ”advises Tammi Nelson.

YES, BUT ...

“If you agree with something, and then add“ yes, but ... ”, then it is as if you cross out everything said before. No one loves when his words scornfully drop, ”says Susan Heitler.

REMEMBER AS YOU ARE ... SOMETHING DID NOT SO

Maybe your partner once forgot to congratulate you on your birthday or scheduled a meeting with friends this weekend that you had to spend with your parents.

“Whatever his offense or mistake is about, if you have already forgiven your husband, take care of your relationship and leave a mistake in the past. Many men think that they are constantly haunted by the past, because their wives do not forget a single mistake made. And every time they do something wrong, they are reminded of all past misconduct. If a man realizes that his wife doesn’t appreciate everything he does well and correctly, then in time he simply stops listening to her, ”explains Kurt Smith.

Exclude them from your vocabulary overnight will not work. First, try to catch yourself on them and gradually replace them with softer and respectful ones. It’s easy if the relationship is worth it.