you shouldn't love everyone!
Allow yourself not to like everyone. I'll tell you how :)
The choice is easy, if you feel that it will be right for you ... I thought. So it is, but this is not enough. It is more important to allow yourself to make a decision. Allow yourself to give preference to one thing and not feel guilty for leaving something else.
When it is necessary for someone to say something or not, I am often tormented by thoughts like "but you are failing people, what they think ..." And the fact that I will be worse if I agree is a minor problem. For some reason, we are brought up this way: get out of your skin, just to be well thought of, if only you do not disappoint. Well, where to live?))) If you try to please everyone and not make anyone sad, your life will only have to cry in the bathroom and eat sausage at night.
In general, recently I had a situation when I realized that I had to afford to make a difficult choice and a little spoil the plans for several people. I imagined how difficult and unpleasant it would be for these people, how grieved they would be and remember me ... But I felt that I had to stop what I started. But to understand this is the half of the matter. Then you need to take the last step - to realize what you have planned. And I could not manage myself! Yes, while I'm weak in this, but I'm working on myself)) My beautiful friend helped me, I literally at 11 am wrote to her that I needed a pendle in the ass and described the situation. And she just said "let yourself do it." So simple and so difficult ... To say no, to leave those with whom it's hard to leave unpleasant things - to realize all this you need permission. Permission to yourself.
By the way, she holds free webinars (very soon another) and writes in about life, psychology and much more.
This is soooooo true. I have very recently realised that i need to enforce much stronger boundaries in my relationships with people because things are way way out of balance with me giving and giving and not receiving, not that i give to receive, but recently i have reached out to people as i am now in a situation where i need some support, and the support just was not there. This was painful, but actually no one's fault but my own, these people have boundaries in place and i do not, and that is my fault, so i am learning to say no. Learning to not do something just because it's good for someone else when it does not serve me at all.
I will still help people always, but not before myself now. Not anymore!