How to step away from beliefs and self-narratives and be in present
Last week, I discussed the troublesome nature of the mind and how to manage your thoughts. Now, let's explore some exercises. Working with thoughts isn’t simple.
It’s a process similar to learning to ride a bike or play the guitar—it needs practice and patience. You’ll keep practicing throughout your life because thoughts will always come up.
How can you gain perspective? How do you focus on the present? How can you maintain an open and curious mindset?
Here are some steps to consider:
Write down your thoughts. Identify what occupies your mind. What memories, beliefs, assumptions, rules, judgments, self-stories, or worries are consuming your focus? Are there thoughts about potential scenarios? Past events?
Do you have thoughts about what others think? Self-doubt? Feelings of inadequacy or being a burden? What does your mind communicate? Recognize them as just words.
The truth of a thought doesn’t matter much. What’s important is how useful it is. Is it helping you? Reflect on how your beliefs and self-stories may hinder you if you accept them. Do they stop you from trying new experiences, forming meaningful connections, or enjoying past activities?
Assess if your thoughts and beliefs support a life that feels valuable and meaningful to you.
When you notice your thoughts, try to recognize them and then release them. Let them flow by like passing cars. This can be tough. You may become caught up in a thought. That’s normal.
When you realize this, acknowledge it without frustration. Observe the thought and redirect your focus to the practice of releasing thoughts.
Distance yourself from the content of your thoughts. Practice stepping back. Notice a thought, for instance, “I don’t fit in.” Feel what that thought brings up. Allow yourself to be engaged with it. Then step back and say: “I am thinking that I don’t fit in.”
Observe how that feels. Again, take a step back and say: “I see that I have the thought that I don’t fit in.” What do you notice? Did you feel the distance you created from the thought?
This exercise aims to separate you from the thought, showing that you are the thinker, not the thought. This can reduce the thought’s power.
You can also sing the thought or express it in a funny voice, say it slowly, or repeat it quickly. This can help diminish its power.
Acknowledge your thought, then let it go. Appreciate your mind for its role. It tries to help, even if it isn’t effective. Assess whether its solution is useful concerning the life you wish to lead.