Confessions of a Formerly Delulu Parent (Spoiler: We ALL Were!)
Alright, fellow humans, gather 'round. Let's have a moment of honest reflection. Before you had kids (or if you're still in the dreamy, pre-baby phase), were you, perhaps, just a tad bit... delulu about what parenting would actually be like?
Yeah, I thought so. Don't worry, you're in excellent company. Turns out, it's practically a rite of passage for future parents to craft an entire fantasy world in their heads, only to have it hilariously (and sometimes, painstakingly) dismantled by a tiny human.
Let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?
The "My Baby Will Sleep Through the Night By 2 Weeks" Delusion
Ah, the sweet, innocent belief that your offspring would be the one, the only one, who somehow cracked the sleep code early. You probably pictured serene nights, maybe even getting up to do some light journaling while the little cherub snoozed peacefully.
Reality Check: If your baby sleeps more than 3 hours straight in the first few months, you probably won the lottery. Most of us are living proof that coffee is a food group and that "sleep deprivation is a form of torture" is not an exaggeration, it's a documentary. You'll celebrate 4 hours of consecutive sleep like it's a national holiday.
The "Our House Will Be Immaculately Tidy" Delusion
Remember thinking, "Oh, we'll just put away all the toys at the end of the day. It'll be fine. We're organized people!" You probably envisioned tasteful, minimalist baby gear and a nursery that looked like it belonged in a magazine.
Reality Check: Your living room is now a vibrant, chaotic explosion of plastic, crumbs, and why is there a sock stuck to the ceiling? You step on LEGOs more often than you use your actual feet for walking. And that magazine-worthy nursery? It's currently home to a mountain of laundry that could rival Everest. But hey, at least the kids are... playing?
The "I'll Still Have So Much Time For My Hobbies/Self-Care/Social Life" Delusion
Pre-kids, you might have scoffed at parents who "let themselves go" or "stopped going out." You were going to be different! You'd still hit the gym, host dinner parties, read all the books, and maintain your vibrant social calendar.
Reality Check: "Self-care" often means showering for more than 3 minutes. "Hobbies" now include marveling at how long it takes a toddler to eat a single grape. "Social life" is usually conducted via text messages sent at 2 AM, or playdates where you mostly discuss nap schedules and poop. And the gym? Your workout is chasing a toddler around the park. Good enough!
The "My Kid Will Never Watch TV/Eat Sugar/Have a Tantrum" Delusion
You had a whole manifesto about screen time limits, organic-only diets, and how you would calmly and rationally explain feelings to your perfectly behaved child. Tantrums were for other parents' kids.
Reality Check: You've bribed your child with a lollipop just to get them to sit still for 5 minutes. "Cocomelon" is practically an extra member of your family. And you've definitely, absolutely, found yourself negotiating with a tiny human over the profound philosophical implications of wearing two different colored socks, while they lie on the grocery store floor, screaming.
The Great Unveiling
The truth is, we all start out a little "delulu." It's part of the human experience of stepping into the unknown. And you know what? That's totally okay. Because while parenting is messy, chaotic, and often the exact opposite of what we pictured, it's also filled with more love, laughter, and unexpected joy than any pre-baby fantasy could ever capture.
So next time you're knee-deep in toys, covered in baby food, and wondering how you ever thought you'd "have it all figured out," give yourself a pat on the back. You're doing great, you're learning, and you're officially part of the club that knows the beautiful, bewildering truth about this wild ride.
Original inspiration for this post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/1r6vwnr/were_you_a_little_delulu_about_your_parenting/