The Sinews Of True Friendship

We started out together in a small room at Goshen hostel, just down redemption road, off Futa south-gate, Akure. We were both in 200level at the time, of course, CFItes ( Christian fellowship international, members), but two people with varying character and intentional approach to life. The first few weeks together was what I would refer to as pseudo bonding,because we were trying to just play nice to each other; and so you could tell that we were consciously observing ourselves. We did a lot together; combined resources to get things done, went out together, ate together....you know virtually everything, (save, bathing together and the likes, because we weren't and still not gay.....lol.).You see, everything seemed perfect, until the sound of the gong began to fade, and reality, as they say, started to set in....You see, i was the guy that didn't like doing anything. I would go to school, come back home, eat and do something else, not minding how the food came to be, and at other times, when there's no food to eat, I just pretend not to be hungry and wait for uzorh( my cook...lol) to come back home and cook for us to eat. Ofcourse, uzorh didn't find this funny, but he kept calm and hoped I would adjust. But I did not adjust, I mean how could I, I was busy enjoying myself not contributing much, while uzorh got the pending ticket to do everything; sweeping, cooking...you know, domestic chores...... Now, uzorh was more of an introvert at the time, and I, the direct opposite, and so he didn't talk much. He was more of an organized guy(still is), meticulous about things, especially his things and a stickler for cleanliness. God!!!....the dude can wake up in the middle of the night to sweep....and am not exaggerating. But I didn't mind, at least I told myself not to, I was actively living the role of a guy in a soap opera I watched, who wasn't ready to work, and the father asked, why are you not working? And he replied ; why should I work, when you are doing all the working"....... Hehehe....Apparently, Uzorh was living the father.

With time, I exceeded the benefits of a doubt he gave me, and he started voicing out his pain, and of course, I wasn't going to give myself away, and so I swung to defense. Soon, tension grew,and the friction between us began to distort the once seemingly smooth ride. There were days that we barely uttered a single word to each other, yea!...it was that bad. Eventually,our thoughts began to nurse the idea of a separation. We would go to church,and that friction would go with us, to the extent that friends noticed, the likes of Olatide Peters, Juwon Lawal and Daniel Akintoye. They encouraged us as christian brothers to work things out. There were other moments, where one person had to leave the room for the other person...lol...funny but true. These went on for a while, until we decided to finally take the " let's talk pill". Now that was hard, owing to the fact that 70percent of the problem was me, and I knew it. But I gave "self" away, threw pride out the window,bent and was willing to make us work. And so, I started taking the initiative to do things....Now that was something!. The initial stage was pretty difficult for me,because now, I had to think of my actions, inactions and how they were going to affect my roommate . I remember Uzorh giving me the " I know you are doing all these so I don't talk" look ( my interpretation though), but I didn't care, didn't give in to such distractions, after all, pride was out the window,and I was so not going to pick it up. So I kept at it, and with time, the conscious and deliberate acts started to become an unconscious one. Things between us began to align, we started to talk more often than usual,awkwardness reduced to zero, laughter dawned and everything spoke, perfect!. Now that was Progress (Not INANA though....lol), I mean, a big one!......Our friendship tasseled out!!!.Yet, I wasn't going to relax, so I kept at it. Months went by, and the session came to a dramatic end. Well, the painful twist in the drama was that, Uzorh had to leave. He was mandated to go stay at the Christian Fellowship International, Secretariat, because of the leadership position he assumed at the time. We didn't have much of a choice, so we parted ways. I got a new roommate, by the way; Fantastic Guy, but his, is a story for another day. So 300level started, and even though Uzorh and I were no longer roommates, we still kept in touch. We saw almost everyday, and if we didn't, calls and text messages paid the bills!...Somehow the session ended quickly, and of course Uzorh and I, had made plans prior to the end, to stay together in our fourth year, and we did. We got a bigger apartment with a secondary roommate ( Another Fantastic guy), and the story continued. You see, I would like to think that Uzorh is no longer introverted, and well, you could see my prints all over the wall, on that one.... #smiling sheepishly#.

My friend, Uzoma, an astute personality of some sort, a proud QS( Quantity surveyor), a detailed Planner and a veracious management guy .....Hmmm...if there's something about him that I love, that would be his calmness, and how he works it so well, that even in dire situations, he stays in control. Our final days in school were off the hook, there are a lot to recount. I remember uzorh clearing his account for my sake, now that was very moving. Kollo my roommate (his usual way of addressing me), when you dey enter ABUJA? And then, my usual response..."no worry, I dey board the last flight come".... and we would both end up laughing and then move on to talk about other things. You see, what these means to me I believe, is how two people can come together and actively define the moments of their lives .Yes, somebody had to make the call, and usually, that's the hard role to play, while the other person plays the response,and that's also not easy too. But today, our friendship is much celebrated, some call us twins, bonded brothers, friends4life and so on. Others think we fit the David and Jonathan fame, in the oldest book. But then, what if we didn't try to work things out? what if we had separated back then? Well, I believe we would have succeeded in recording a single story. And like the author of purple hibiscus; Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would put it, " The danger of a single story", she called them stereotypes, and of course,like she said,it's not as if they are untrue, but they are just incomplete, hence, they make one story the only story. For me,now, am no longer the guy that WATCH things happen(see problems and do nothing about them) or the guy who WONDER what happened (Confused and clueless about things), but now, am that guy, in all humility, who MAKE things happen(Solution Oriented).....This I learnt from my friend,Uzoma!

And so, as I approach the shores of this story, I would like to say that ,this is not necessarily a story of tenacity or pliancy, it's just a simple story of love... Love that has the power to change the course, in the lives of people. I must say, "to show love, it is not in the extraordinary things, but it's the little things given and done in an extraordinary way". And so to you my friend and brother, Chinweokwu C Uzoma,as you know, distance is no issue,even as I would love to keep doing friendship with you, because forever is the plan.....so much love, bro!