The Confused Martian

The Confused Martian often carried a pencil sharpener that they would sometimes sleep with. This seems an astonishing thing to do, to most, but not to the Martian, who had come to the conclusion that this idea was awe-inspring. Who would have imagined, a pencil sharpener would be the thing that was opted for.

The Confused Martian often carried a can of coke that they would watch for 10 minutes every morning. It should have been a fairly exciting approach to life, to me and my wife, but not to the Martian, who thought it was sublime. Remarkably, a can of coke is the thing to choose.

The Confused Martian always had with them a pint of beer that they would occasionally try to balance on their head. It would have been a fairly strange proposal, to me and my wife, but not to the Martian, who expected that it was in fact, breathtaking. Bizarrely, a pint of beer would be the thing that was opted for.

The Confused Martian desired a piece of paper that they would experiment on. This seems a fairly exciting undertaking, to me and my children, but not to the Martian, who felt it would be magnificent. A piece of paper was the item that was chosen.

The Confused Martian always had with them a vibrator that they would occasionally worship. This could be considered an original thought, to some, but not to the Martian, who felt that it was in fact, exciting. Remarkably, a vibrator would be the thing that was chosen.

The Confused Martian carried a teapot that they would occasionally put in the bath with him. One might consider this to be a fairly new operation, to me and my wife, but not to the Martian, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was simply life. You wouldnt have imagined, a teapot of all things.