Tied up

Suddenly they came for me.
This was the second time.
The first time I kicked 7 nurses. Injured three of them, enough that they required medical treatment.
This time I threw the plate on toward the ceiling the icky mess fell on the leading doctor. He wasn't impressed.
They tied me to the bed and told me they would untie me when I calmed down.
I was calm before they dragged me off?
Now I was angry and uncomfortable.
My left hand was bent back to the wrist and was sprained.
My hair had been pulled.
Pure sadism and anger from one of the nurses as I struggled to be free.
I was trouble.
Now I couldn't relax.
I screamed.
I cried.
I hurt.
A nurse sat by me.
As I drowned in snot. She offered to wipe my nose.
I said yes please.
She wiped.
I said there is more.
She refused to wipe again.
The snot squished from my nose.
I still drowned.
I was supposed to lie down and calm down and sleep.
Are you kidding? I am sore and drowning in snot.

I sang to ask them to let me free.
I wasn't going to scream and lose my voice.
I sang " My hand hurts!"
"Untie me!" in a monologue of minor intervals.
I was there for hours.
My left wrist was too painful to move.
I twisted my right hand. I discovered the metal part could did into the mattress.
I dug until it broke into the mattress.
Greeny yellowy foam came out. I moved my head to my hand and stuffed this poisened foam into my mouth and chewed and swallowed.
The idiots came running in.
I knew they were watching me.
They saw what I was doing.
They untied me at last from the metal chains holding my arms and legs.
I was afraid. I was afraid of how people could control other people.
Who gave them the right to tie me up.
I knew what was going on.
This was to get me to behave.
Not because I was crazy.
I was never crazy. Just afraid, uncomfortable, depressed and angry.
Never crazy. Getting there close. It was easy to go crazy - if they let me.
Silly fools. Silly rules.
Not to help.
Just to keep the status quo.

I was given the option to leave after that.
I left as soon as I could.
Mental homes were not suitable to me.
They didn't calm me down.
They stirred me up.
Injustice.
Inhuman.
Forgotten
imprisoned souls.
The lost people.
Society makes us mad.
We are just different.