THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK!!!

in #mindset4 years ago

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Hey Steemers!!!

In my life, I even have given a fuck about many of us and lots of things. I even have also not given a fuck about many of us and lots of things. and people fucks I even have not given have made all the difference.

People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to easily “not provides a fuck.” Indeed, we frequently ask the strongest, most admirable people we all know in terms of their lack of fucks given. Like “Oh, check out Susie working weekends again, she doesn’t provides a fuck.” Or “Did you hear that Tom called the corporate president an asshole and still got a raise anyway? Holy shit, that dude doesn't provides a fuck.” Or “Jason got up and ended his date with Cindy after 20 minutes. He said he wasn’t getting to hear her bullshit anymore. Man, that guy doesn't provides a fuck.”

Chances are you recognize somebody in your life who, at just one occasion or another, didn't provides a fuck and went on to accomplish amazing feats. Perhaps there was a time in your life where you merely didn't provides a fuck and excelled to some extraordinary heights. i do know for myself, quitting my day job in finance after only six weeks and telling my boss that i used to be getting to start selling dating advice online ranks pretty high there in my very own “didn’t provides a fuck” hall of fame. Same with deciding to sell most of my possessions and move to South America. Fucks given? None. Just went and did it.

Now, while not giving a fuck could seem simple on the surface, it’s an entire new bag of burritos under the hood. I don’t even know what that sentence means, but I don’t provides a fuck. A bag of burritos sounds awesome, so let’s just accompany it.

The point is, most folks struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks don't need to tend . We provides a fuck about the rude gasoline station attendant who gave us too many nickels. We provides a fuck when a show we liked was canceled on TV. We provides a fuck when our coworkers don’t bother asking us about our awesome weekend. We provides a fuck when it’s raining and that we were alleged to go jogging within the morning.

Fucks given everywhere. Strewn about like seeds in mother-fucking spring time. And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Easy comforts? A pat on the fucking back maybe?

This is the matter , my friend.

Because once we give too many fucks, once we prefer to provides a fuck about everything, then we feel as if we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy in the least times, that’s when life fucks us.

Indeed, the power to order our fucks for less than the foremost fuckworthy of situations would surely make life a hell of tons easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Rejection less painful. Unpleasant necessities more pleasant and therefore the unsavory shit sandwiches a touch bit more savory. I mean, if we could only provides a few less fucks, or a couple of more consciously-directed fucks, then life would feel pretty fucking easy.

What we don’t realize is that there's a art of non-fuck-giving. People aren’t just born not giving a fuck. In fact, we’re born giving way too many fucks. Ever watch a child cry his eyes out because his hat is that the wrong shade of blue? Exactly. Fuck that child .

Developing the power to regulate and manage the fucks you give is that the essence of strength and integrity. We must craft and hone our lack of fuckery over the course of years and decades. sort of a fine wine, our fucks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the foremost special fucking occasions.

This may sound easy. But it's not. Most folks , most of the time, get sucked in by life’s mean trivialities, steamrolled by its unimportant dramas; we live and die by the sidenotes and distractions and vicissitudes that suck the fucks out folks like Sasha Grey within the middle of a gangbang.

This is no thanks to live, man. So stop fucking around. Get your fucks together. And here, allow me to fucking show you.

NOT GIVING A FUCK doesn't MEAN BEING INDIFFERENT; IT MEANS BEING COMFORTABLE WITH BEING DIFFERENT

When most of the people envision giving no fucks whatsoever, they envision a sort of perfect and serene indifference to everything, a relaxed that weathers all storms.

This is misguided. There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. people that are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people often plan to be indifferent because actually they really give too many fucks. they're scared of the planet and therefore the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they create none. They hide during a grey emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitied, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.

My mother was recently screwed out of an outsized chunk of cash by an in depth friend of hers. Had I been indifferent, i might have shrugged my shoulders, sipped some mocha and downloaded another season of The Wire. Sorry mom.

But instead, i used to be indignant. i used to be annoyed . I said, “No, screw that, mom. We’re getting to lawyer the botch and follow this asshole. Why? Because I don’t provides a fuck. i will be able to ruin this guy’s life if I even have to.”

This illustrates the primary subtlety about not giving a fuck. once we say, “Damn, watch out, Mark Manson just don’t provides a fuck,” we don’t mean that Mark Manson doesn’t care about anything; on the contrary, what we mean is that Mark Manson doesn’t care about adversity within the face of his goals, he doesn’t care about pissing some people off to try to to what he feels is true or important or noble. What we mean is that Mark Manson is that the sort of guy who would write on himself in person and use the word ‘fuck’ in a piece of writing 127 different times simply because he thought it had been the proper thing to try to to . He just doesn’t provides a fuck.

This is what's so admirable — no, not me, dumbass — the overcoming adversity stuff. The staring failure within the face and shoving your finger back at it. The people that don’t provides a fuck about adversity or failure or embarrassing themselves or shitting the bed a couple of times. The people that just laugh then roll in the hay anyway. Because they know it’s right. They know it’s more important than them and their own feelings and their own pride and their own needs. they assert “Fuck it,” to not everything in life, but rather they assert “Fuck it” to everything unimportant in life. They reserve their fucks for what truly fucking matters. Friends. Family. Purpose. Burritos. And an occasional lawsuit or two. and since of that, because they reserve their fucks for less than the large things, the important things, people provides a fuck about them reciprocally .

TO NOT provides a FUCK ABOUT ADVERSITY, you want to FIRST provides a FUCK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN ADVERSITY

Eric Hoffer once wrote: “A man is probably going to mind his own business when it's worth minding. When it's not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.”

The problem with people that distribute fucks like frozen dessert at a goddamn camp is that they don’t have anything more fuckworthy to dedicate their fucks to.

Think for a second. You’re at a grocery . And there’s an elderly lady screaming at the cashier, berating him for not accepting her 30-cent coupon. Why does this lady provides a fuck? It’s just 30 cents.

Well, I’ll tell you why. That wife probably doesn’t have anything better to try to to together with her days than to take a seat reception ablation coupons all morning. She’s old and lonely. Her kids are dickheads and never visit. She hasn’t had sex in over 30 years. Her pension is on its last legs and she’s likely to die during a diaper thinking she’s in Candyland. She can’t fart without extreme lower back pain. She can’t even watch TV for quite quarter-hour without falling asleep or forgetting the most plotline.

So she snips coupons. That’s all she’s got. It’s her and her damn coupons. All day, every day. It’s all she will provides a fuck about because there's nothing else to offer a fuck about. then when that pimply-faced 17-year-old cashier refuses to simply accept one among them, when he defends his cash register’s purity the way knights wont to defend maidens’ virginities, you'll damn well bet granny goes to erupt and verbally hulk smash his fucking face in. Eighty years of fucks will rain all directly , sort of a fiery hailstorm of “Back in my day” and “People wont to show more respect” stories, boring the planet round her to tears in her creaking and wobbly voice.

If you discover yourself consistently giving too many fucks about trivial shit that bothers you — your ex-girlfriend’s new Facebook picture, how quickly the batteries die within the TV remote, missing out on yet one more 2-for-1 sale available sanitizer — likelihood is that you don’t have much happening in your life to offer a legitimate fuck about. And that’s your real problem. Not the hand sanitizer.

In life, our fucks must be spent on something. There really is not any such thing as not giving a fuck. The question is just how we each prefer to allot our fucks. you simply get a limited number of fucks to offer over your lifetime, so you want to spend them with care. As my father wont to say, “Fucks don’t grow on trees, Mark.” OK, he never actually said that. But fuck it, pretend like he did. the purpose is that fucks need to be earned then invested wisely. Fucks are cultivated sort of a beautiful fucking garden, where if you fuck shit up and therefore the fucks get fucked, then you’ve fucking fucked your fucks all the botch .

WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF FUCKS TO GIVE; concentrate TO WHERE AND WHO YOU GIVE THEM TO

When we’re young, we've plenty of energy. Everything is new and exciting. And everything seems to matter such a lot . Therefore, we give plenty of fucks. We provides a fuck about everything and everybody — about what people are saying about us, about whether that cute boy/girl called us back or not, about whether our socks match or not or what color our birthday balloon is.

As we grow old , we gain experience and start to note that the majority of those things have little lasting impact on our lives. Those people’s opinions we cared about such a lot before have long been faraway from our lives. We’ve found the love we'd like then those embarrassing romantic rejections cease to mean much anymore. We realize how little people concentrate to the superficial details about us and that we specialise in doing things more for ourselves instead of for others.

Essentially, we become more selective about the fucks we’re willing to offer . this is often something called ‘maturity.’ It’s nice, you ought to try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only provides a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy. As Bunk Moreland said within the Wire (which, fuck you, I still downloaded it) to his partner Detective McNulty: “That’s what you get for giving a fuck when it wasn’t your address provides a fuck.”

Then, as we get older and enter time of life , something else begins to vary . Our energy levels drop. Our identities solidify. we all know who we are and that we not have a desire to vary what now seems inevitable in our lives.

And during a strange way, this is often liberating. We not got to provides a fuck about everything. Life is simply what it's . We accept it, warts and every one . We realize that we’re never getting to cure cancer or attend the moon or feel Jennifer Aniston’s tits. And that’s OK. Life fucking goes on. We now reserve our ever-dwindling fucks just for the foremost truly fuckworthy parts of our lives: our families, our greatest friends, our golf swing. And to our astonishment, this is often enough. This simplification actually makes us really fucking happy.

Then somehow, one day, much later, we awaken and we’re old. And along side our gum lines and our drive , our ability to offer a fuck has receded to the purpose of non-existence. within the twilight of our days, we feature out a paradoxical existence where we not have the energy to offer a fuck about the large things in life, and instead we must dedicate the few fucks we've left to the straightforward and mundane yet increasingly difficult aspects of our lives: where to eat lunch, doctors appointments for our creaky joints, 30-cent discounts at the supermarket, and driving without drifting to sleep and killing a parking zone filled with orphans. You know, practical concerns.

Then at some point , on our deathbed, (hopefully) surrounded by the people we gave the bulk of our fucks to throughout our life, and people few who still provides a fuck about us, with a silent gasp we'll gently let our last fuck go. Through the tears and therefore the refore the gently fading beeps of the guts monitor and the dimming fluorescence encapsulating us in its divine hospital halo, we drift into some unknowable and unfuckable void.

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