The Retarded Monster

The Retarded Monster looked for a crown that they sometimes watch for 10 minutes every morning. It would have been a fairly different thought, to most, but not to the Monster, who considered it would be stunning. Who would have thought, a crown would be the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Monster carried a dildo that they would occasionally play with. It is a weird activity, to everybody you know, but not to the Monster, who assumed it was out of this world. Honestly, a dildo is the thing to opt for.

The Retarded Monster desperately looked for a rubber chicken that they sometimes put in the bath with him. One might find this to be a peculiar action, to my grandpa, but not to the Monster, who assumed that it was in fact, magnificent. Honestly, a rubber chicken would be the thing that was opted for.

The Retarded Monster craved for a spade that they sometimes put up their bum. It was considered to be a funny undertaking, to me and my children, but not to the Monster, who assumed that this idea was wonderous. You wouldnt have thought, a spade would be the thing that was selected.

The Retarded Monster desperately searched for a lava lamp that they sometimes put in the bath with him. It would have been a different approach to life, to my dad, but not to the Monster, who felt that this idea was simply life. Who would have thought, a lava lamp is the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Monster often carried a chocolate bar to try to balance on their head. This seems a fairly new undertaking, to me and my husband, but not to the Monster, who thinks that this idea is the most awesome idea. Who would have imagined, a chocolate bar is the thing to choose.