The Fucking Monster

The Fucking Monster wanted a stapler that they would sometimes insert somewhere. It was a strange undertaking, to everybody you know, but not to the Monster, who had decided that this idea was simply life. You wouldnt have thought, a stapler being the chosen thing.

The Fucking Monster always carried a lava lamp that they would sometimes rub on his belly. This is certainly a fairly strange proposal, to me and my husband, but not to the Monster, who thought that it was in fact, epic. A lava lamp is the thing to opt for.

The Fucking Monster always carried a hat that they would watch for 10 minutes every morning. This seems to be a fairly bizarre idea, to everybody you know, but not to the Monster, who had come to the conclusion it would be sublime. Strangely, a hat was the item that was selected.

The Fucking Monster desperately searched for a pint of beer that they would put in the bath with him. One might consider this to be a surprising suggestion, to everybody you know, but not to the Monster, who had decided that the idea was exciting. You wouldnt have thought, a pint of beer being the thing selected.

The Fucking Monster needed a bottle of beer that they would occasionally play with. It was considered to be a weird and wonderful approach to life, to my neighbour, but not to the Monster, who assumed that the idea was spectacular. Honestly, a bottle of beer was the thing that was opted for.

The Fucking Monster always had with them a piece of paper that they would often annihilate It is a fairly astonishing action, to most, but not to the Monster, who considered that the idea was entertaining. Who would have imagined, a piece of paper would be the item that was selected.