Happy Mother's Day, Steemit folks! 👩‍👦

In case you missed it: it IS Mother's Day (in the US). So if you forgot about it you aught to brave the nearest flower shop and pick your mom out something nice.

Usually, Mother's Day is a day for us to pay a little more attention than we normally do to the person who housed us in her body for the first 9 months of our lives.

We make some time to visit, do something special, make or buy a special gift, or take her out for a nice meal to remind her that we appreciate her.

But for me, it would be my ultimate pleasure to spend a day with my mom, to show her my appreciation.

Because my mom died 7 years ago.

What happened

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My mom was always a hard working person.

Her and my dad devorced when I was about 9 or 10, and as a single woman with two boys, her tenacity to raise us up as moral, compassionate men was remarkable.

She worked as a waitress, she worked in construction, she was a flagger, and she even delivered clothing, which was the job where she fell down some stairs and permanently injured her back for the rest of her life.

This is a picture of her in her early 40s. Despite her injury and constant physical pain, she always had the most loving and positive spirit.

Before she got pregnant with my older sister as a teenager, she was an aspiring model and metal-wining track competitor.

I always loved my mom.

It's fair to say I loved her more than my dad. She simply understood me, and she cared about me and gave me the attention I needed to become an emotionally stable adult.

She married a good man -- a great man, actually -- who I am happy to call my stepfather to this day. He showed me what loyalty and commitment looked like.

They had finally reached a point in their lives where they were ahead of the bills.

My mom and stepdad had just bought a house and were enjoying their newfound financial stability and a level of comfort the likes of which either of them had known before.

Her house was the hub for my family. Everyone visited all the time. If I wanted to talk to my brother or sister, it was easier to get a hold of them by randomly stopping by my mom's house than calling.

It was a happy and light-filled time for everyone.

Cancer

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My mom was a long-time smoker.

I grew up in a house that smelled like smoke.

The person that ended up being my best friend my whole life was once forbidden to hang out with me because his mom thought I was a bad influence… because I smoked (which I never have)… because my parents smoked.

Well, my mom was diagnosed with throat cancer. Cause: smoking.

She started on chemotherapy treatments. I moved back to my hometown from where I had been living in Portland OR.

I wanted to be close to her in case anything happened.

She had lost all of her hair, which had always been a huge part of her identity, being a beautiful woman.

We were all amazed with the humor she had about that. When her hair started growing back she would demand that everyone rub her head and feel the "peach fuzz."

For months she went the exhausting treatments. And then, just like that, the doctors said she was clear.

She had beaten the cancer. She could go home and continue on with her life.

We were all so relieved.

Then, a week later, my stepdad came home to find her body on the couch.

She had died of a throat aneurism caused by "complications from treatment."

This is a picture of her the day before she died. She's in her back yard and there's a beam of light shining on her chest in the shape of a heart.

After that…

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There was the funeral.

Her dog who was deeply emotionally attached to her died a few weeks later for no reason.

I think he died of sadness.

My stepdad and I buried the dog together.

Everyone was devistated, as you can imagine.

There were promises made to never grow distant. To keep her ability to bind the family together alive in honor of her.

But that's just not how real life works.

People grew distant and moved away from each other to pursue their own lives.

To this day I still drive by the old house whenever I'm in town.

Moving on

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A year after that, I had a son.

He's 6 today Andrea he'll never have the opportunity to know his grandma.

My mom was not the type of person to reject the grandma label. In fact, she jumped into it with both feet. She even thought she could snag the email address "crazygranny@aol.com"

She would have fallen in love with him. And he would have loved spending time with her.

My wife, also, never had the chance to know her. Although she often feels a deep kinship with her.

And now, I have yet another baby on the way. A daughter.

… it's just unfortunate how things play out in life.

I had no control over her choices or the events chosen by nature or God.

As the memories of my mom become more blurry and less immediate, I miss her very much on days like today.

Tomorrow is her birthday.

Please, appreciate what you have while you have it

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I have no idea what you are going through with your family, or what your particular dynamic is with your mother.

Perhaps you get along famously.

Or, perhaps you have a deeply imbedded offense that has kept you from reconciliation for years.

I cannot imagine what you are going through and I therefore can claim no grounds to judge your relationship with your mother.

I just hope that you will be able to feel your mom's love today.

If your mother is still with us, I hope you can tell her that you love her.

Because she could be gone, just like that.