The Importance of Building Empathy in Relationships
The concept of empathy, which entered the field of psychology and psychiatry in the 1900s, has been referred to with multiple definitions to this day.
During these periods, according to some researchers, empathy was an innate biological ability, while according to others, it was a feature that could be acquired and developed through experience, according to others, it was a potential based on intuition and imagination, and according to others, it was one of the brain functions16 .
Today, empathy means noticing, understanding and sharing the emotions of others. The important thing in empathy is to understand the emotions of the person from their perspective 19 . In short, it is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand what they should feel in that situation.
The most important point in establishing empathy is for the person to correctly understand and interpret the feelings and thoughts of the other person and to avoid being egocentric.
Another important point is for the person establishing empathy to convey the empathic situation that he/she has interpreted in his/her mind to the other person.
Even if the person correctly understands the feelings of the person with whom he/she is empathizing, if he/she does not convey this to him/her, the process of complete empathy has not been realized.
The most difficult point for people is to express the feelings and thoughts of the other person even if they can understand them .
When we say empathy today, Carl Rogers' definitions and explanations come to mind. Rogers, who defined empathy in various ways throughout his career, put forward a definition of empathy in the 1970s that is very similar to the one used today.
This definition is the process of a person putting themselves in the other person's shoes, looking at events from their perspective, and correctly understanding, feeling and communicating the person's feelings and thoughts 6 .
A person who will empathize should be able to put himself in someone else's shoes and look at events from their perspective. Accordingly, if a person wants to understand another person, he should try to perceive and live like them.
In order to do this, he should enter the role of the person he wants to empathize with and be able to look at events from their eyes.
In order to empathize, it is necessary to understand the other person's feelings and thoughts correctly. In other words, it is necessary to understand the cognitive and emotional parts of empathy correctly. In order to develop this ability, it is an important method to understand what the person thinks and feel the same feelings by acting as if you have been in their place.
The last element in the definition of empathy is the process of conveying the understanding formed in the mind of the empathizing person to the other party. Even if the feelings and thoughts of the other person are fully understood, if they cannot be conveyed and communicated, the empathy process remains incomplete.
Different theories have different views on the development of empathy, which is one of the most important elements in human relations. However, the results of research show that the roots of empathy go back to infancy .
It has been observed that babies are disturbed by the crying of another from the day they are born, and some experts consider this situation to be the earliest example of empathy .
According to research, differences in empathic interest and empathy levels are linked to how families discipline their children. A child's empathy is stronger in a style of discipline that draws attention to how behaviors cause distress to the other party.
In other words, instead of a parent saying, "You were naughty," saying, "Look, you made him/her very upset," helps children gain empathy .
Another factor that shapes empathy is the situation where someone observes how other people approach them when they are in trouble. Children who grow up with a parent who helps people in trouble develop their empathy by imitating what they see.