What is avoidance behavior and control strategies
Everyone has their own strategies to manage emotions. While many strategies overlap, each person has unique ways to avoid feelings and thoughts. However, avoidance is not the answer. Emotional discomfort is a part of life that cannot be ignored.
Trying to escape these feelings does not stop them from appearing again. In fact, avoidance can create more issues in the long run. Efforts to control emotions can drain your health, energy, and relationships.
It is exhausting to suppress feelings and ignore inner experiences. The time and energy spent on avoidance take away from what truly matters in your life. Four common avoidance strategies are distraction, withdrawal, specific thinking patterns, and self-medication, each with its own signs.
Before judging your actions, consider that the purpose of various behaviors can differ. Activities like watching TV or listening to music do not always mean you are avoiding emotions. Reflect on your motivations. When do you tend to avoid feelings, and what does that look like for you?
What is the cost of these behaviors? Avoidance and control are burdensome over time. Both are struggles, and both have a price. Ask yourself: what is this costing you?
To explore this, consider these questions. Be gentle and curious. What challenges are you facing? How do you attempt to avoid or control uncomfortable emotions? What have you done in the past to escape discomfort? Did it work? Did it eliminate the discomfort?
What has been the cost? What are the consequences? What are you losing now and in the long run? Think about energy, relationships, time, health, and well-being.
Instead of pushing thoughts away, focus on noticing your inner experiences. Start by observing what is happening within you. Identify unpleasant thoughts, beliefs, and worries.
You cannot change thoughts easily, but you can change how you relate to them. Learn to accept discomfort instead of avoiding it. Pay attention to your thoughts. What occurs when you confront them instead of ignoring them?
Write down your thoughts if needed. Consider their triggers and the power they hold over you. When you recognize thoughts for what they are, you practice defusion— distancing yourself from them and observing rather than avoiding.