A Virtual Hug from me to you: A consolation for the dead's living.

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A little bit of this and that. A lot of here and there. Nothing has changed since i last visited. It was a moment to behold but I knew I had to let go. My heart was heavy and nothing had taste anymore. The world meant nothing as I was consumed by your absence. But life must go on for the living.

Recently, a friend of mine learned she lost her dad… it was the first time in a long time I had cried when I heard about the death of someone (it’s not because I’m strong around death, but because somehow I have lost the ability to cry when it strikes). I lost my dad when I was 6, a lot of people do not know this, as I have chosen to keep that part of my life where it should be kept to avoid the pity that comes with the knowledge of death nowadays.

I have chosen to write a little about my experience courageously because people do not know how to act around death, when consoling the relatives of the deceased. There are very few times I’ve been courageous enough to talk about my father’s death with people and very few times people have been reasonable with what they say to me about his death.

It was a tough year for my family when my dad died. Yes, I remember it very well, even though I was just a toddler. I remember the fast changes that took place in my academics and at home and even with my family (I think this bit of news is too much and might start getting you to feel pity so I’d just skip to the point).

Grieving over the death of a loved one, can be very painful especially when things happen and you wish they were there to witness it. It’s like having a long distance relationship with someone, only that you never get to call them, write them letters or even plan a visit to where they are staying. The period of time after they first die – the period when the realization sets in can be quite depressing; and that is why you need to choose the kind of people you have around at this time.

Stay away from people who when they hear the news will immediately ask; What killed him/her?– these ones are more interested in gaining knowledge of death and juicy gossips than consoling you or helping you through your journey to healing (although it might take a life time to actually heal).

Also, when consoling the dead’s living, please know that they are very sensitive people at the time, even if they mask it. Please do not be the person who says I cannot imagine if it was my relation, thank God mine aren’t dead or thank God mine are alive.

If you’ve lost a family member before, you should not say to someone recently grieving or grieving at all, At least you lost them at this point in life, I lost them at this point in life. Sweetheart, please do not say this to anyone who is grieving over death, nobody’s pain should be compared ???.

Each day I think about my dad and imagine how different my life would have been if he were alive. I try to focus on how wonderful it still is without him, and how strong my family has come forth from the pain. You should focus more on your victories dear dead’s living, you’re far more strong than the sorrow that death brings. I love you very much, for how can I not love one of my own?

Dear you reading this, remember that death is inevitable, and so; live your life to the fullest. Life is not as wild and wide as you think. Don’t be in so a rush to live that you forget to appreciate the little gifts in life – like a smile from a loved one and the small talks in the sitting room. Every second counts. For those of you who have lost a family member or loved one, here’s a virtual hug from me to you ???????? Be strong! Someday soon, we will live to write death’s elegy.

Do whatever makes you happy and don't hesitate to give thanks to God every moment for his grace.

With all my love,...