The Science of Happiness
We’ve all heard a million stories about what makes people happy: love, family, children, pets, money, etc. But what really matters? And can we ever really understand the full spectrum of factors that contribute to a happier life?
I've spent the last year reading through the scientific literature on happiness and well-being, from psychology, neuroscience, economics, sociology, and even genetics, and have compiled a list of over 30 common themes that play an important role in creating a happy, fulfilling life. The first two are the foundation of our theory, and will provide you with some ideas for future exploration.
We all have different priorities, and there are no 'right' or 'wrong' ones.
You don’t need to be in a committed relationship, a romantic one, to be happy.
Let's break down these themes.
- We all have different priorities, and there are no 'right' or 'wrong' ones.
Different priorities might sound like a cop-out, but it's true. While your friends might be interested in going to the beach or skiing over a romantic night out, you just want to relax. But does that mean you're any less happy than your friends?
Of course not, because what's important to you is completely different from what makes your friend happy. Just because you don't do things a certain way doesn't mean that you won't enjoy them.
Even if you and your partner were on the same page regarding everything, and you both had similar career and family plans, you might still have different priorities. Maybe one of you wants to spend more time volunteering, while the other enjoys a more balanced lifestyle.
Regardless of who you are, this idea that we all have different priorities doesn't make us less happy; instead, it makes us more human. And that's OK.
Now that we've established that we all have different priorities, let's take a look at the next part of our theory:
- You don't need to be in a committed relationship, a romantic one, to be happy.
It's normal to think that you need to be in a committed relationship to be happy, and it's also true that a committed relationship is typically associated with greater well-being. However, it's actually more accurate to think that your relationship has the biggest impact on your happiness and well-being when you're in the middle of a strong romantic relationship.
When you're looking to move past an unhealthy relationship, it's usually during this time of transition that you feel most strongly about being in a romantic relationship. As time goes on, this excitement fades and you start to focus on building a solid, long-term relationship.