Sonata no. 1 Movement 2 (Original Composition) (Revised Version)

I posted this piece last week. When I showed my theory teacher it, he told me I should make it A - B - A' rather than A - B - A, so I rewrote the ending, and also removed any parallel fifths and octaves (which many of you may know are forbidden). I made more assertive changes in the melody at the end by bringing it up an octave, adding new voices, and changing the actual melody. Here is the revised version:

You can check out the original version (here)

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