A Ugly Newt

A Ugly Newt desperately looked for a radiator that they would occasionally worship. This seems a fairly extraordinary operation, to my neighbour, but not to the Newt, who had decided that the idea was awe-inspring. Who would have thought, a radiator being the item opted for.

A Ugly Newt always carried a cheese grater that they would experiment on. This might appear to be a curious idea, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who felt it would be out of this world. Who would have imagined, a cheese grater was the item that was chosen.

A Ugly Newt desperately desired a bottle of beer that they liked to play with. This could be considered an exciting action, to my neighbour, but not to the Newt, who felt it was spectacular. Who would have imagined, a bottle of beer was the chosen thing.

A Ugly Newt desperately wanted a dildo that they sometimes try to balance on their head. It would be a fairly astonishing undertaking, to you, but not to the Newt, who thought that the idea was simply life. Strangely, a dildo was the item that was selected.

A Ugly Newt desperately looked for a sack of potatoes that they liked to rub on his belly. It is considered to be a weird and wonderful suggestion, to me and my parents, but not to the Newt, who thought it would be magnificent. Honestly, a sack of potatoes would be the item that was chosen.

A Ugly Newt always carried a chocolate bar that they would often insert somewhere. It might have been an original approach to life, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who expected that this idea is stunning. A chocolate bar being the item selected.