The Purple Newt

The Purple Newt desperately searched for a vibrator that they would often try to balance on their head. It was considered to be a fairly bizarre proposal, to me and my husband, but not to the Newt, who expected it would be miraculous. You wouldnt have imagined, a vibrator was the item that was chosen.

The Purple Newt always kept a can of Dr Pepper that they sometimes rub on his belly. This is certainly a weird idea, to some, but not to the Newt, who assumed that it was in fact, wonderful. You wouldnt have thought, a can of Dr Pepper is the item to select.

The Purple Newt desired a melon to try to nail to the wall. This seems a surprising undertaking, to me and my wife, but not to the Newt, who feels it was the most awesome idea. Who would have imagined, a melon is the thing that was chosen.

The Purple Newt looked for a block of cheese that they liked to smash. One might consider this to be an extraordinary activity, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was awe-inspring. You wouldnt have imagined, a block of cheese would be the item that was opted for.

The Purple Newt searched for a chocolate bar that they would occasionally put down their trousers. This seems to be a peculiar thought, to everybody you know, but not to the Newt, who assumed that the idea was fun. Bizarrely, a chocolate bar having that done to it

The Purple Newt wanted a bottle of wine that they liked to watch for 10 minutes every morning. One might find this to be a fairly surprising activity, to my grandma, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that this idea was stunning. Remarkably, a bottle of wine being the item opted for.