Hmmmm, very thought provoking. I almost cried yesterday when I lost a baby due to inefficiency of a nurse. But eventually I had to come to the reality that I am also to be blamed because assuming there was a doctor on duty overnight, maybe we might have been able to save the baby. I mean, I delivered my son around 2am in a hospital where there was a call doctor, I am now subjecting others to be delivered by a nurse. Is that not the height of hypocrisy? Don't get me wrong I respect nurses a lot because I have learnt a lot from them, but if I am trying to justify an avoidable occurrence due to an incompetent nurse, then I should also take part, if not all of the blame.
So, my dear a lot of times we don't practice what we preach and like you said we are all capable of evil.
Don't beat yourself up about it. It is well.