Contracts_Wiped_Out_My_Life_Savings_Lost_¥500000_in_4_Days

in #okxapple • 4 months ago

It's been a month. Today, I've resolved to recount my experience as a cautionary tale. Let this serve as your lesson: never gamble!

On June 2nd, the Backpack S1 season had concluded a few days prior. I held $135,000 in cash and suddenly felt restless with nothing to occupy my time.

I reasoned that since hedging on Backpack was no longer possible, perhaps I should experiment with short-term trades on Lighter. Maybe I could increase my funds a bit before S2 commenced.

Then, I began gambling on contracts. My positions grew larger and larger. At $1 million per trade, a 1% shift meant $10,000 — utterly exhilarating.

🔸 On the first day, by evening, I had lost $25,000. My capital dwindled to $110,000.

I told myself, the next day I'd be careful, avoiding reckless high-frequency trading. If I earned $5,000 daily, I could recover within a week!

🔹 On the second day, I gained over $4,000. I felt a quiet satisfaction. I thought, in a week I'd break even and truly quit. No more gambling.

🔸 On the third day, I woke up eager to trade. Before 8 a.m., I opened an ETH position and got trapped immediately. It was agonizing. I sweated over the numbers, watching the stop-loss approach, suffering all day.

By night, the stop-loss triggered again. Another $25,000 loss. Strangely, being stopped out felt like relief — akin to a prisoner awaiting execution finally abandoning false hope. The actual end brought release.

🔹 On the fourth day, I had $95,000 remaining. I sensed my mental exhaustion. Yet, I still craved recovery. I wanted to make it back, so I initiated another trade.

At noon, a shorting opportunity arose, but I hesitated and didn't enter. Around 2 p.m., I anticipated a rebound and went long — trapped once more. At 5 p.m., I was stopped out, losing another $10,000. Only $85,000 left.

Then, I went all-in. Seeing ETH break support, I shorted at 6 p.m. using my phone, without a stop-loss! I shorted the absolute bottom. On my way home, I stared at my phone constantly, watching the price bounce. Sweat poured nonstop.

But I convinced myself, "It's been ranging so long — if it drops 7% tonight, I'll recover everything. I must hold! I must endure!"

By 8:30 p.m., I pretended to watch TV in the living room but couldn't focus. I checked my phone every minute, tracking price fluctuations.

By 9 p.m., ETH had rebounded nearly $30. My losses mounted. I broke down completely. My mind went numb.

I rushed to the bedroom, desperate to close the position. Lighter informed me mobile access was restricted in my region. Frantically, I switched VPN nodes on another phone, trying everything to exit that stop-loss-free short.

When I finally closed it, relief washed over me. In just days, I had lost over ¥500,000. I collapsed onto the bed, speechless, and drifted into a haze before 10 p.m.

🔸 On the fifth day, at 7 a.m., I instinctively checked the price. ETH had crashed 7.6%. I didn't know why at the time (it turned out Musk had a fallout with Trump).

If only I hadn't closed that short... it would've mirrored my previous night's vision — a 7% drop and full recovery.

But life offers no "ifs." No second chances. You simply face the outcome.

That was my first week of June. Afterward, I didn't eat properly for 7 or 8 days. Each meal consisted of two bites of vegetables. No appetite. Depressed. Mentally shattered.

Now, reflecting, it feels like fate toying with me. Even glancing at K-lines nauseates me — physically sickening.

What did I gain? Perhaps Lighter awarded me 310 points that week — my all-time high score.

But I'm grateful for that experience a month ago. Now, if a position isn't hedged, I feel ill. I'm done with contracts. I've quit gambling.

✅ People survive because we cling to hope.

Thanks to mental coach @Metabape and the wise bro @dominolu for guiding me from the shadows. Life is long. I still have some capital. I still hold @Backpack_CN points. I can still earn back through farming. As long as I breathe, hope persists. Learning from mistakes fosters growth.

Let's strive together and achieve financial freedom in two cycles. With my bros, no more gambling, no turning back!

Let's go!

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4 months ago in #okxapple by
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