Is It Possible To Spoil A Baby? Should You Just Ignore His Cries?

Some first time parents are torn with doubts that maybe they hold their little one in their arms a bit too much. Even though our parental instinct is to calm down our baby as quickly as possible, the constant warning “don’t spoil your baby” puts so much pressure on us, that it makes us doubt our actions.

It is easy to feel manipulated when your baby wakes up crying every time you try to put him down in his crib. However, if you leave him to cry it out, the chance of him growing up to be independent is as big as that of him having a strong skin if you don’t change his dirty diaper. (Native American parents would often hold their babies in their arms all day, breastfeed them all night, and when they would grow up, they would turn into brave, independent, and respectful adults).

Don’t get this wrong! There is nobody or nothing against setting up a routine for breastfeeding and sleeping. For most families, having such a routine is very useful and recommended. But even so, trying to implement a strict sleeping and feeding routine on a temperamental baby with irregular sleeping and feeding hours, will only lead to frustration and exhaustion for all those involved.  

As it says in the Bible, “There is a time for everything”. Disciplining your children is a very very important parental duty – but not when it comes to infants. Your worry that you could possibly be spoiling your little one should not turn into a problem, at the very least not until the baby turns 4 months old (even that is considered by many to be too soon). Before your baby turns 4 months old, you have a way bigger responsibility than to worry that you might be spoiling your little one: to feed your baby’s trust in you and the world.

Building the child’s trust is one of the greatest privileges and responsibilities of the parents. A swift and prompt reaction to your baby’s cries represents the foundation of strong family values, not their undermining.  When your loving arms protect him, when your breastmilk satisfy his hunger, the message it sends him is: “Don’t worry. I will always be by your side, whenever and wherever you need me”. That’s how your baby’s trust in you is born, and these actions in turn become your child’s foundation for building trust in others.

Don’t forget to cherish these amazing first months of your sweet baby’s life in which you constantly want to kiss and hold him in your arms. You will have plenty of time for discipline and education later on, but in the first months it’s the time to protect him. Enjoy this period because as any experienced parent will tell you, it will end faster than you think.

Some inspiration from:  Harvey Karp “The Happiest Baby On The Block”