"A Mother's Love" acrylic on canvas painting

I painted this for my mother. The two pups are me and my brother. See the look of pride and love in her eyes? A slight smile on her face and the adoration her pups have for her?

I have been growing and changing so much in the last few months. Feeling my baby grow, learning to think and feel for not just myself anymore. It feels like I have started to step into my role more the last few days, especially. I was told that I am scheduled for a csection before my due date and went through the stages of grief, because I felt like it was being rushed and felt powerless to do anything. I have since realized (thanks to the wise words of mothers I have spoken to) that it is my choice, not theirs! My baby and I are not in distress. The Drs are well-meaning, but to them, I fit into a vacation schedule. They are not equipped or trained to do anything but try to bully me into a csection. Also, the Dr I have been sent to has different ideologies than me and we do not vibe very well.

I no longer feel listened to. I am not being given the choice of informed consent. I have decided to take things into my own hands. I am going to go to the bigger hospital a couple hours away and attempt a breech delivery. I am open to a csection, I am not stuck in my "plan"...but it is my job to protect my baby and listen to his wishes and I can feel him, I can sense that he doesn't want to be rushed. The more pressure I get from Drs, the more I feel he pushes back. He feels pressured and will not turn like this. The stress I was feeling was not helping. I release that. I am a Mama Bear and I will not be bullied anymore! I will do what I have to do to bring my baby into the world safely. But I am not going to rip him out before he is ready. Unless he shows signs of distress, we will give him a bit more time...this is my choice. I stand in my power and will NOT be forced to do things that I feel are preemptive, unnecessary and fear-based! My baby, my body, MY CHOICE.