Humanizing our enemies
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Old Wisdom
The quote I'm using for this particular post really speaks volumes. However, it probably should not surprise us that the one leader we remember as "The noble Abe" would have such though circling inside his mind. I think somehow, someway we all know this to be very true, as hard it might be to apply it.
Maybe the first step into this process has to do with one's control of our ego. Because at times, when we have these conversations, when we declare someone our "enemy" what's happening is that we allowed the other person's words or actions to cut deep into our sense of self.
The obvious questions we should probably be asking is: "Who am I? ... Is the insult really me? Am I upset because I believe it? Do I need to revise my own perception of me?" - To me the "trick" lies somewhere there; Allow me to explain it a little further.
Removing Power
This is the trick, or at least it's the trick in my mind. If I let someone's words dictate how I feel about myself, it is I who allowed it to be so. I will grant you this is not easy, not by a long shot, but we know it not to be impossible. Why? Because I'm sure that every single one of us can think of someone who has insulted us, who has belittled us, and yet we didn't care at all.
You have to ask... What was the difference? - Real simple. We did not give that individual's voice any weight in our heart. It was like someone burping 200 feet away from us. You can see it, maybe on day that is not that windy you can hear it, but it's not ruining your day in the least. In other words, Who cares?
Why can't we do this with other people? Why do we surrender power to others?
A few years ago, quite a few years back, I woke up to this realization. It was a time were I worked at a company that did not appreciate my efforts. The day I took back their power, I felt so much better, it's hard to describe it with just a short post. It's one of those things you have to live.
And... our enemies?
Yes, where are they? Who is your enemy? Who is mine? - I'm here to tell you that 99% of the time we see a doral fin poking out of the water it's a dolphin, not a shark. I've tested this myself, I really have. Even in this blog, I've had people attack me, I've had people call me rich a--hole, bad person and what have you. But, I chose to see the human behind those key strokes. I chose to see the person who probably misunderstood me and my intentions.
Granted, not every single time I've tried this maneuver it has worked. But, more often than not it has. And that is basically my little message here.
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This is powerful! As an empath I tend to hold the most compassion for the "bullies" of the world because I feel like they've come from broken homes and need the most love. I feel sorry for them. But not in a pitiful way. In an instinctually human way. One that tells my gut we are all connected and their pain is mine too.
Furthermore, we are each responsible for how we feel and react. If someone calls me a vulgar name it is my decision to either believe them or not. How do I feel about myself? If I believe said vulgar name to be true about me, that is a problem with me, not the person harassing me. Just as it is the bullies responsibility to feel negatively or positively about me. I'm not responsible for the way someone else feels.
Nobody is "better" than me, and I am "better" than no one. We are all the same human collective trying to advance our species. Love > fear. <3
I've been called an empath too... I must confess new term for me. But, I totally get it and of course relate.
You got a good head on your shoulders and more importantly a good heart.
Cheers
Thank you! That gave my feeler ass goose bumps :P. And likewise to you. Keep doing what you do. Maybe we'll catch you on The Steeming Pile one of these days.
That's a great reply :-) (not a spam comment, I just can't add to it!)
Wait... you are rich? HELLO NEW BEST FRIEND! jk
Yeah dude, people nowdays just want to create drama and don't even realize other people are humans too, we were all born under the same sun and we all have dreams and hopes. One of the best exercises I do is to put myself in other people's shoes, mostly the ones which are assholes, some of them I can perfectly understand!
The last guy that wanted to hit me,etc... was a victim of an abused childhood and his mother took a beating almost every single day from his father, if I was that guy i would be frustrated too and lash out into the whole world. That was the only reason i didn't fight him, even though he insulted me and even pushed me!
This post, come at a great time, the flag war is back on the blockchain and IMO both parties should talk it out and try to come to a reasoning! We are all humans! Can't people understand that!
You know, I may end up eating my words. But, I would love to have a convo with the soldiers.
I know their intentions are great... Idk fulltimegeek but i would trust him with my car any day... dude is full of kindness. I just don't know how this thing is supposed to pan out.. and the cost of the war. You know...
as if reducing the "evil" is less than the amount of good he does. Idk... maybe I'm sounding naive. I'm just not sure.
Your strategy of putting yourself in your "enemy's" head is exactly the right one. And like you say, you may make friends, which is even better.
But there are real enemies. Typically, faulty and pathological ideologies will breed them. Pathological ideologies usually class whole sections of society as a "disease." A dictatorship, with a pathological leader, is likely to try to enforce this pathology.
For example, Hitler wanted to exterminate whole swathes of people, simply for being themselves, or as he termed them, "animals."
Someone who thinks like that is an enemy, and you can't get round that.
Oh yes Rodney... won't disagree with that... there are evil people out there. But, they are aberrants... meaning truly evil people are not the norm.
Now, when we see a shark, we should know not to jump into the water. But, let's first identify the dorsal fin.
Words can, with much effort be brushed away but actions, not so. If you are physically or financially wronged, are they not an enemy? Should one react by simply turning the other cheek?
Whilst I get your sentiment, I think there are occasions when action must be taken, albeit with the minimum retribution to achieve the aim of defusion.
Of course, there are definitely enemies against humanity which must be dealt with, providing there is consensous.
Yes of course Nathan, there are extremes. But, most people are not "evil", the key operational word here is most.
So my point really is that those who learn to recognize the good in others, more often than not can make friends out of potential enemies.
@pechichemena, hes onto us. Pack the C4 and ill meet you behind Walmart.
The coup will have to wait another day. :D
But no (this was just a joke, wink wink, a joke Meno nothing else. Its not real, i was joking in a joking manner haha)
This is really the only path to take if you want to succeed in anything on Steem. You voice your opinions and the people on the other side will learn about them. I think that should be the ultimate goal. There is absolutely no reason to become enemies with them.
Being offensive to those people, or going on the offensive against them further then its necessary to get your message across is pointless.
You can make enemies if you wish, but would you rather want that other guy that you disagree with understand your point of view, since you did interact? I can guarantee that other person wont care in the slightest if you start spamming and insulting him/her.
Strong arguments, diplomatic rhetoric changes things, affects opinions... "you are stupid, everybody hates you"... changes nothing for the positive.
Good attitude silent ;)
Btw I will defeat pechi