What am I attempting in 2018?
There are many things on my list to get done, many things I should do but I am not going to mention them all here. When it comes to New Year's resolutions I am boring. I really only have one thing I would like to improve in 2018 which is: try to be a better human.
This is easier said than done it seems. There are so many pressures and competing factors. I am meant to be a good father and husband yet fail at both because to be so, I have to be able to provide enough. It is romantic and poetic to talk of love but love is impractical when it comes to paying utilities and medical costs.
I want to be a better provider but to do this takes time and effort to get things done. Long hours, hard work and constant chasing to not fall behind. The time it takes bites into being a good husband and father but, it must be taken care of still.
Too much of life seems to be a catch-22 situation, you can't have one without the other but to have one, you must also have the other. How can this be, shouldn't it be easier than this constant struggle we find ourselves in?
Perhaps it is. I get advice to slow down, spend time with family, don't work so hard whilst the debts pile up, the bills keep coming and life keeps piling on pressures. Expectations that must be met. Don't try to live up to the expectations of others, be yourself. What about the disappointment in their eyes as another, small luxury must be passed over, again?
I once was lining for an ice cream at a kiosk and they didn't take cards. The guy in front had no cash and bent down to his four or five year old daughter and said, 'next time'. The disappointment in her eyes, how long until I see it in my own daughter? Yes, I paid for their ice creams and saw the gratitude in his but, it left me empty as I thought to a future where I am unable to buy the smallest of pleasures for my daughter, let alone the large necessities.
So I work, but at what cost, my relationship with my wife, my daughter? One year or two is not a long time in my opinion but from the outside looking in? And they are on the outside. For the most part, this is lonely work in the real world and as of yet, there is nothing concrete to show for it. Just promises. Like any relationship.
I work hard to provide but what if I lose them in the meantime? Another Catch-22? Is there ever a time where one doesn't have to compromise themselves in this life and still be able to have others by their side? i can live on a shoestring, but I can't force them.
For me, 2018 is going to be one of risks. So many risks and if I pull it all off, things will be fine but if I fail...
In the background, the rockets are exploding. Will life implode?
Midnight.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Nothing is important than family in this world...they way you paid for ice cream ..you are already a better human who understand the values of family,,
It is just ice cream, at the time I could afford it so I think anyone would do the same. I actually have a 5 to 10 euro budget per week for these things. It is not much but can help someone immensely.
generous people think like that
"The opportunity is painted bald and you always have to grab it by the hairs"
So, don't worry my dear friend. And keep milking the Opportunity Cow while there is still MILK in there. :)
With time we will find fruit or maybe not. Thy to find joy in your efforts. I will try to give you my support along the way.
Happy New Year, my friend. If we get what we deserve then you will surely have a great one. :)
Happy new year mate, Here is to hoping for brightness.
'I paid for their ice creams'
You have a golden heart, and you want to help the world :))
A very sweet thing to pay for the ice cream :)
I think my partner sometimes feels the same way as you do, and would dearly love to slow down, spend more time with me and the kids, not have to deal with other people's expectations, but like you we have bills and mortgage to pay. I've tried to alleviate some of the pressure by running a business part time with my sister but we have since let that slide to the bare minimum (we're maintaining our existing clients but not taking on any new ones unless we know them already or are recommended by existing clients) as it was making me a terrible parent and worse partner. We got better before it became critical.
It's pretty tough not having anything concrete to show. Are you able to start with something small and concrete? Or have you already done that? I'm currently annoying my partner as my first purchase (once I cash out the steem) will be two new cats and associated paraphernalia, but it's solid proof to him that it is possible to make and do things with magical internet bubble money ;)
Hope this year is good for you :)
Not yet, but I asked my wife the other day what we really, really need and can get online just to prove that it is possible. :)
It does put a lot of pressure on us but my wife is currently back at school as a full-time student and mother so things have to get covered before any extras, even when it comes to the relationships.
Good idea :D And sometimes little things like that help a lot because then you get that nice sense of yes, I achieved something, and this thing I'm doing is possible, and I can get through the hard slog, and that light isn't a train XD (though me being the annoying nitpicky thing I am I always figured you'd hear and feel it if it was a train XD)
We've been through a period where I was home with a baby and a toddler while he was doing full time study before he finished his degree and flew into full time employment straight out of uni. I remember how tough and often downright stressful that was.
I think your partner understands that, and hopefully by the time the small is old enough to understand that, it won't be an issue anymore :)
It's a sad reality, that the effort required in this day and age to support and provide for a family is surely at an all time high. It might be limited to where I live, but it seems that everything is getting more and more expensive, and wages just aren't growing organically to offset this.
I am in Finland and it is getting well and truly out of control now. I earn okay comparatively to before yet struggle more and more each month. It is going to break.
Yeah, I also feel that life should be a lot easier for what I'm earning.. I can't fathom how people that live on minimum wage are surviving
Very poorly I assume or, perhaps they are much better at managing their funds than I.
I live in an area that has quite a lot of older and long-term unemployed around yet, I see them at the local shops buying alcohol and cigarettes (both very expensive here) and I think, 'I am working and can't afford to smoke and drink anymore'.
Since our daughter was born and has a few health issues, we have burned through every cent of savings we have and even though it is easing, we are unable to save anything. I can't imagine what it would be like for the unemployed but, perhaps they are able to get various support for such things.
Those working hard, stacking shelves and flipping burgers must struggle a lot for very little gain. I hope they are taking a dollar or two and investing it into some alts. At least there is a chance of it going up.
Some people have been given a leg up in life, either through help from family, inheritance, etc.
It would be a lot easier if you didn't have to pay rent, or mortgage etc.
Absolutely, but, there is what is chance and what we can control. Worrying about what others got by chance rarely helps to improve what we can control.
Hopefully the world of crypto can help us climb the economic ladder while we're figuring out our day to day, and when our daughters are older they'll have that comfort that their fathers provided and others can envy. lol
Have a prosperous new year @tarazkp, we just keep the faith,continue the task and get better at living!
The way you are sharing your story is poetic. It's truly difficult sometimes to find balance in life, and I hope that people surrounding us will have better understanding of things. I hope your family will see the love in the sacrifices you make, big or small. Let 2018 be a year of strength, love and hope! Keep fighting.
I'm sorry to write off topic but your photography blows my mind. I found this.
https://steemit.com/photography/@tarazkp/long-exposure-across-the-lake
This one seems to be shot from Lapinniemi. These photos evoked powerful homesickness in me. I don't feel bad about that, though. Thank you!
Happy New Year!
You are stalking :)
Actually from close to home in Lentavänniemi on the west side. There is lots of development going on there now.
Happy New year to you too :)
Yes, I read in Aamulehti that they're building a whole new district in Lielahti.