I loved her

More than I thought possible, more than I had learned to love before, I loved her. She was magic, I adored everything about her. She was the one I thought angelic, the one I saw an angel. It was her, the maker and destroyer of worlds. Breathing life into my world only to take it all away. Only to leave me gasping for air in her absence.

And it undeniably hurts, her absence, more than anything else has ever hurt before. It hurts to the core of my very being. And the worst part is, I wouldn't wish it any other way. I want it to hurt, for it means it mattered enough for it to hurt. For we must hurt to know the difference between a walk in the rain and a knife in the back. This was no walk in the rain, this was the knife I couldn't get out fearing I'd bleed out.

Red tears were falling on the otherwise immaculate snow, preparing the battlefield for the massacre to come. Years upon years of suffering, of slowly bleeding. The years of silent cries to the sky, of whispering your name. The years that now lie behind me, yet are still part of me. As are you, a core part of everything I've become.

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Story behind the words

Pain, the ache of separation from a loved one. The missing we have to face each day without them. The moments of cursing the Gods and asking why. The hardship of going on without them, having no more purpose, of going through the motions for the sake of it. The way life becomes less and less worth living as each day goes by. The way it all stays in the past yet remains a part of us.

Thank you for reading.
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As always, have a great day,
Alex