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RE: Poetry #8: Damnation on Dakota Dock
Hey @horzymandias, I like this poetic series of pairing locations with alliterative identities and crafting the wood down into these interesting quasi aphorisms on human nature.
Your use of slant rhymes kept the stanzas interesting and engaging, and, along with the succinct line lengths, helped the piece read smoothly.
I'm usually quite in tune to why I like or dislike something, but, in this case, I can't quite put my finger on why your last couplet is so striking to me:
And mankind’s caveat
follows with the waters’ roar.
maybe because of the rhyme scheme pulling it towards the opening of that last stanza, or maybe just the placement.
Either way, this is a fun read, mate, thank you for sharing.
Personally, I think one of the most underplayed tools at the poet's disposal is the real-estate tactic: location, location, location. I may be wrong, but I feel as though the ideals people espouse for certain locations (like a beachside dock) tend to be similar throughout. It's fun to play with that a little bit, and occasionally throw in a biblical reference somewhere around there (that never seems to hurt).