The Calm and Chaotic Universes – An Original Poem
as the water gently
manhandled me.
Effortlessly pushing
back and fourth,
with soft, relaxing hands,
while I slowly exhaled
until depletion.
that separated the calm
from the chaotic universe
to refuel my lungs, when
hearing the desperate screams,
that shredded the throats
of panicked children.
with a bent clapper,
that screeched it's foul omen
as it shaved the bronze
away from the mouth,
to warn all
that the enemy
has breached the gate.
faster than my eyes could see
and Sally howled in agony,
as the invader darted away
to choose more victims,
while serenaded by Tommy's
recitation of the Lord's Prayer.
like little black kamikazes
with wings made of thunder
and a diamond fuselage
that destroyed the flesh
upon impact and regained flight
before the devastating explosion.
were overcome by a viscous roar
that filled my ear and
grew silent as lightning
struck my shoulder
and I saw the demon
sucking my life away.
I slapped the beast's
hard shell and it
growled while taking
flight as I plunged
screaming and breathless
into the underworld.
had come to an end
as my throbbing shoulder
entered and my lungs
made demands
while a stampede
of children ran over me.
of other refugees
helplessly cowering
in the abyss,
told that this
was no longer an attack,
it was psychological warfare.
breathless paradise,
like flaming gnats
looking for bliss,
with the threat of death
by a thousand cuts
patiently waiting above.
of a drowning boy,
I left the safety
of this deadly mirage,
to gasp for air.
Invisible enemies,
I no longer cared.
that dripped in my eye
with blurry visions
of mangled children rushing by,
I heard the life guard scream
“Calm down!
It's only a horse fly.”
Included in Steemprentice Spotlight
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Great, I enjoyed the story telling in this poem.
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Good story, like the surprise ending.
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Horseflies are no joke, they use to chase us down the street.
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Thoroughly enjoyed the adventure you took us all on with your captivating words and exciting scene by scene action. The exaggerations, although definitely real to the child experience, really brought this poem to life and propelled it to a comedic finish. Horseflies are mean and fat flying creatures indeed. If I had an empty plastic water bottle in hand whenever they came around, I'd be practicing my baseball bat skills for sure. Upvoted with ease
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It is funny how when I was a kid that day felt like a national tragedy, as if we looked death in the eye and survived to tell the tale.
I'm not a fan of long poetry myself, but that can be excused with the improving rhythm and imagery that we have on offer here. By the second line I was hooked - always a good sign! I can see a definite progression from one poem to the next. But it's always a slow change, a bit like our Steemit reputational numbers. Poets to me are either: terrible poets, great poets, good poets or mediocre poets. I'd say your almost over the threshold of a good poet. Well done. 7/10. @mindhunter
Oh wow, that is high prize, thank you :)
Worthy of $'s indeed - I see they are flying in - do try a tight short poem next time - super-tight - airtight - pure distilled @gonzo essence :)