A letter

I was a little girl, yet i worked like an adult,
I run errands, i tried my best to fulfill my duties as a daughter
Till i could feel my body going weak.
The more i worked and grew, the less my strength,
Yet i was never a good child, my works were unappreciated.

I grew up without friends,
As you scold me whenever you see me with people,
'I don't want to see you with those children,
Do you ever see me talking or mingling with people in this area'
Yet you don't ever have my time,
You're always busy with your work.

Whenever you come back from work,
Hearing the voice of your car honks brings fear to my timid body,
'Go into your room, i don't want to see you watching the television'
You would shout.

I wondered how i did my assignment,
I wondered who helped me read,
Yet you scold me when i got bad scores,
No memory of you sitting with me and helping me do my assignment.
No memory of you sitting me down and talking to me what life is,
Or talking to me what it means and entails to be a lady as i grew to be a teen.

You never ask me what i might be passing through in school,
Or how i dealt with issues and people i encounter,
All you ever shout is 'we give you whatever you ask, we feed you,
We pay your school fees, you don't hawk before you eat, we buy you clothes '
You thought that was love entails... In material things?

Quiet in class, quiet at home, devoured with low self esteem everywhere,
Cannot defend myself, even as an adult!
This is what you made me to be!!!
You refused to give me love, then I'll look for it somewhere else.

Who will show me love, who will care for me?
From here I started another fruitless journey, with no guidance.
'I love you', 'i love you too'
This goes for years, still no true love found.
Instead, heart got broken, and left with wounded heart,
Salt on injury.

Yet you still didn't have my time,
You never saw i was hurt,
Yet you added more salt.
Sometimes i pray i faint so i could be free from the pains a little bit,
Or i have a sickness you would nurse and show me little love,
Worked hard to please you amongst pains but still called me useless!

You didn't know all this added up to hatred,yet you didn't stop,
How do you then expect me to please people i hate,
Tried loving you, tried not to hate you,
But you keep on hurting me,
Making the hatred enlarge.
I fear for the future! I fear the hatred doesn't consume me,
So you would reap the fruit of your so called labour