I searched, I let go

I searched for you in every face,
I searched for you in other arms,
I searched for you in other dreams,
I searched for you in our photos,
I searched for you in front of the screen.

I searched for you in every glass of wine,
I searched for you on rainy days,
I searched for you in winter,
I searched for you hugging your blanket,
I searched for you in the cool breeze,
I searched for you in the sky,
I searched for you in the Milky Way,
I searched for you at dawn,
I searched for you every weekend,
I searched for you on my trips.

And in nostalgia I found you,
In my tears I found you,
In uncertainty I found you,
In confusion I found you.

But in my strength I found myself,
Living through pain I found myself,
In deconstruction I found myself.

Living through fear I let you go,
Closing my heart I let you go,
From within I let you go.
I let you go a thousand times,
Until I healed.

We all look outside for what we can find within