His Ugly Princess

His Ugly Princess wanted a bat that they would put in the bath with him. This could be considered a fairly exciting suggestion, to my mum, but not to the Princess, who had come to the conclusion it was epic. Who would have thought, a bat would be the item that was opted for.

His Ugly Princess needed a vibrator that they liked to try to balance on their head. It was considered to be a weird and wonderful exercise, to me, but not to the Princess, who thinks that this idea is breathtaking. A vibrator being the chosen thing.

His Ugly Princess always had with them a ball that they would put on his head. One might consider this to be a fairly surprising action, to my children, but not to the Princess, who had decided that this idea was sublime. Who would have imagined, a ball would be the thing that was chosen.

His Ugly Princess found a painting of a melon to try to balance on their head. It is a fairly surprising activity, to you, but not to the Princess, who thinks that this idea is stunning. Strangely, a painting of a melon would be the item that was selected.

His Ugly Princess owned a bag of poop that they sometimes put in the bath with him. It would be a bizarre suggestion, to me and my parents, but not to the Princess, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was sublime. Who would have imagined, a bag of poop was the thing that was chosen.

His Ugly Princess carried a porno magazine that they would often smash. It would be a fairly weird undertaking, to me and my parents, but not to the Princess, who assumed that this idea was magnificent. Honestly, a porno magazine of all things.