RE: Psychology Addict # 66 | Paedophilia.
Dear Abigail,
How brave of you to address this subject. But of course it is your profession, and your intellectual inclination, to understand, and to foster understanding. Numbers don't lie, and the great number of children who are sexually abused argues for discussion. The issue won't go away if we close our minds to it.
One of the distinctions you make--between those who are inclined and those who act--is one generally made for all transgressive behavior, I think. But the thought of crossing boundaries when it comes to a thief, or even a murderer, does not repel us as much as does the thought of paedophilia. I think this is precisely because of what you mention near the end of your blog. We are responsible for children. If they are abused, it is because we have in some way failed to protect them.
As I read this I thought of your blog about The Joker. You approached that subject with the same balanced intelligence. We can't ignore the paedophiles and Jokers, because they exist. And by not acknowledging the mechanism that leads to these aberrations, we only push people further into the periphery and lose any chance of redeeming the redeemable.
I'll be reading the blog again, to check on some of the references. And I'll try to find a place of understanding for those who do not act on an appetite they find to be a burden.
I hope you are well and peaceful Abigail. Such a pleasure to see you writing here again.
With affection, appreciation and ever growing respect,
Your friend,
AG
My dear friend <3 :), your insights never seize to amaze me. And thank you so much for linking this topic to my discussion on Joker, it truly is much the same thing. Non-offenders are marginalized because they have no one to turn to (not even prepared professionals in the mental health service), and offenders are forever denied forgiveness and any level of dignity.
By stigmatizing non-offenders we give them away to those who have the same interests but who don't deal with it in a healthy way. Through ostracizing offenders we only increase the chance of recidivism. Society is part of the problem, but doesn't want to take responsibility for it. Still, for this realization to emerge we need a better understanding of it, which we can only obtain by being open :)
Thank you for being open to it my dear @agmoore2, and for being empathetic in acknowledging the burden this condition is for those who live with it but have no intention to harm anybody. This is often all some of those men need to hear, that there is someone out there open to understand their troubles. You're amazing <3
Everything is fine here. Life is busy, but very good :) I hope you are keeping yourself warm and healthy over there. It's sunny & rather cold in Lisbon. It's beautiful.
Much love to you always and forever - from across the ocean :*
There is a world of difference between actions and thoughts.
Thoughts need not - should not - be punished.
Actions on the other hand....
Equally, these thoughts that are socially/morally repugnant, are probably thoughts best not expressed...ever.?
Hum ... interesting question. I follow the belief that there are somethings that shouldn't be said. But this would be, let's say, in a family or work environment. There are things that serve no purpose other than hurting.
When it comes to disordered thinking, however, if it causes overwhelming distress and the individual afflicted by it cannot come around it. It's time to express it. To a professional or a trusted loved one. It's no wonder why psychotherapy is known as the 'talking cure', more often than not people just need to share the burden in order to put things in perspective :)
lol - 'the talking cure' is exactly how I would sum up psychotherapy.
(correlation does not mean causation, but the breakdown in closer familial/ interpersonal relations over the last 30 years, it has correlated to the massive rise in use of 'these services'. I include 'self help gurus', and it's offshoots of, in this category).
I follow the belief that there are somethings that shouldn't be said. But this would be, let's say, in a family or work environment.
These are the social norms, and part of the 'rules' people buy into - which are very valid.
There are things that serve no purpose other than hurting.
(...like mosquitoes? lol..... little bastards).
Having been accused of this heinous activity myself once or twice (believe it or not), it's a pastime I've never indulged in. Surely that is the playground of the 'psychopath type' person?
My intent to help, however, was very often misconstrued - or totally misunderstood- by lesser mortals.... as being 'intentionally hurting'.
I suppose a dentist gets the same accusations thrown at them also. lol
My dear Abigail,
I think you know I am very impressionable, easily affected. So it's important that I screen out negative elements from my field of vision. Your blogs are deeply processed. Each one has an effect on me that endures, and becomes part of my life experience. So of course I remember The Joker blog. I found it interesting, when that movie won awards recently, that the star echoed some of your sentiments: we have to look at aberrant behavior and understand it. We can't just lock people away or write them off. That leads nowhere.
Thank you for your kind words. You know they make a difference in my day.
Can't tell you how proud I am that you have the courage to address an extremely unappealing topic that will displease many people. But I think you strive to be an instrument of positive change. And sometimes it isn't easy to be that.
I'm so happy it's beautiful in Lisbon, and that you can appreciate the beauty though it is wrapped in chill.
With respect--always respect--and love,
Your friend
AG
❤️