Cake better than sex- a few words about human's sexuality

Human sexuality is an extremely individual matter within each individual that can not be considered in isolation from other aspects of our life. The holistic approach to this issue allows to consider certain issues in a multidimensional manner, which gives the opportunity to create conditions of objectivity in the assessment of behaviour. Human sexuality is always embedded in certain social frameworks that determine both sexual development and later sexual expression. Asexuality is one of the forms. The individual variability of the human sexual expressions was documented by Kinsey in his report in a very convincing way. The frequency of various sexual behaviours of people can be considered in terms of dimensions. Today I will take care of one of its sides. I will try to explain the issue of asexuality.

Asexuality

The dimension I mentioned is hypersexuality - hyposexuality. The starting point of reference here is the frequency of actions taken in the sphere of sexuality. In this case, both extremes of this dimension can be defined as an element of an individual, sexual identity.

Asexuality can also be seen as the fourth sexual orientation. Persistent emotional, sexual and emotional attraction to the specific person. Sexual attraction to people of a certain gender can be compared to a complete lack of attraction to any person. It is possible to think about asexuality as a way of sexual realization, or rather its lack, but it would be associated with the assumption that asexual people have no orientation. I believe that the lack of sexual attraction is a certain manifestation, a message about someone's sexuality. This statement is not confirmed by the literature I provided. I hope that someday it will be included in official trends in psychology

How the frequency of sexual activities undertaken indirectly influences the building of human sexual identity should be considered in the historical context.
With some precaution, one can assume that there is a desirable model of human sexuality, variable depending on latitude, social moods or historical events. In the twentieth century, the period in which the expression of one's sexuality had to be suppressed ended. This was due to limitations imposed on the part of the society, or limitations resulting from the religion. In this context, a person who was asexual was well suited to the society, and has been an example of the desired values.
For some time, we can observe the shaping of another model (in "western" societies). What is currently desirable, can be described as high activity and sexual performance manifested in many ways in which both clothing, behaviour and narration about one's life are created in a social context. In such circumstances, the asexual person does not represent a default, socially appreciated value, and even represents some imperfections. Their lack of full fitness in the field of sexuality is even perceived in clinical terms.

Is asexuality a disorder?

To address this issue, reference should be made to the concept of a norm. In sexology, we distinguish several types of norms. To clarify the relativity of the issue under consideration, I will refer to the individual and partner norms. The individual norm includes sexual behavior between an adult male and an adult woman (sic !, this norm does not include homosexuality, but it does not mean that it is treated as a disorder, it is simply old, but in other respects still valid), it is an activity that does not exclude a relationship that leads to fertilization and does not have a permanent tendency to avoid genital contacts (if one's only activity is masturbation it does not fall into this norm). According to this norm, sexual relations are undertaken by the individual in order to achieve sexual, reciprocal satisfaction, which does not harm anyone's health and does not harm social order either.
In this context, asexuality will be treated as a disorder. In sexology, in some cases the patient's suffering is taken into account as a diagnostic criterion. Considering this fact, a person who suffers from their hyposexuality or asexuality will be subjected to therapeutic interventions aimed at probing the cause of their problem and defining a new way of functioning (if it is possible).
In some cases, however, the low frequency of sexual activity, or lack thereof, will not be seen as a problem by the person. In addition, such a person may be in a romantic relationship with a person who, in terms of sexual realization, functions in the same or similar way, and the lack of sexual contact is not a problem for none of them. In this situation, it is worth referring to the sexological partner norm, in which the behaviour of the system is assessed, not the individual. This standard, in its criteria, contains those similar to the individual standard, among other things the fact that sexual behavior should lead to mutual satisfaction. It is therefore difficult to consider asexuality as a norm in the light of this statement. It is different with hiposexuality, or just a small number of sexual activities. If both people derive satisfaction from occasional contacts, this is within the norm.

Therapy

The most important sexological principle in the context of therapeutic interaction is to follow the good of the patient and take all actions that can reduce his suffering. It can be assumed that if a person does not suffer from the way he expresses his sexuality (asexuality is not "non-expression"), most likely he will not appear in the consulting room. However, it is very likely that even if the individual's hyposexuality or asexuality does not cause her suffering, she may already deal with unpleasant feelings, feelings of inadequacy, disability or even harassment and ridicule by other people. This is a similar issue to the situation of homosexual sexual orientation. Therapeutic interactions should focus on how to deal with difficult social situations. It often happens that under the influence of numerous sufferings, people who have not previously declared their perception of their asexuality in terms of a problem, start to think that they would like to change this aspect of their lives. The impact of a sexologist on such a person is already a very individual issue, which depends both on the approach in which the therapist works and on the causes of asexuality (perhaps on ho the cause is seen by the patient). A sexological interview is a permanent element of sexological therapy, which is an introduction to work with a suffering person. This interview allows the therapist (sometimes the patient himself) to become acquainted with the course of sexual development, the quality of sexual contacts taken up to now and the relationship with the loved ones of the patient over the years. Only after having an accurate picture of the functioning of the patient in different spheres of life, the therapist can undertake psychological interventions whose purpose is defined depending on the results of the interview and the development of the patient throughout the therapy.