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RE: F'ed in the A by our Apparent Niceness
Maybe the correct word is "understand". I think we should understand how and why people think the way they do it, that's good, and it helps to tolerate behaviors different from ours, but that does not mean we have to accept their behavior, there are acceptable behaviors and unacceptable behaviors. We must understand both, but only tolerate the first.
Certainly - there is a world of difference between acceptance and understanding. At least with understanding we can offer to support someone to change, to face themselves. Thank you for reading :)