Truly Terrible Pun Headlines September 6th 2016

Healing Power Derived From Maples Found To Be "Treemendous"  Detractors Of Study Claim Results "Were Doctored"                                   

Top government official vows to clamp down on statements of health benefits, makes several cutting remarks about what practitioners have brought to the table.    

Bird Of Prey Slated To Star In Remake Of ‘Terminator’  "Owl be back " Statement Turns Many Heads

  

Film’s producer Mick Annickal flys into rage after learning he’s to be replaced by veteran filmmaker Hunter F. Mise.

Kernel Of Truth Found In Farmer's Story Of Crop Circles In Corn Field After Neighbors Initially Gave No Stalk To His Claim 

"I was listening to the Beatles' "Hay Jude" at the time of the incident."  

Amphibious Creature Leaves Body Of Water In Pursuit Of Hoppiness, Seeks New Life Beyond The 'Pond'erosa 

Tells story of previously bogged down career to legendary journalist Lee Penalot.  

Human Resource Manager Found To Be Simultaneously Using Two Keyboards At Workstation,  Accused Of Stereotyping 

   

Firm’s CEO Ann Taggenast responds: “It is ‘key’ that we ‘control’ our ‘option’ to keep ’tabs’ on employees during every ‘shift’ .  The aforementioned manager has been allowed to ‘return’ to work under the agreement not to ‘F1’ more thing up.”