I totally feel your pain.
All of the foreign recipe measurements make cooking look like a maths test instead of making food.

''Cup'' is what really confuses me. I usually drink my non-alcoholic beverages from cup-like objects, but if I google a ''cup'', the cup is smaller than what I drink from. Perhaps it's a ''mug''.

Well then, I don't have any cups, because mugs fit way more liquid; why would I drink my beverages from something smaller than I'm used to? Then again, if I only have mugs and not cups, how do I know I've used the right amount of whatever?

Which theorems and formulas do I have to use when I want to make a simple-ass meal of one-pot pasta carbonara when the recipe uses cups, ounces and pounds? I don't want to pound my macaroni! I just want to prepare my dinner!