Believe What Others Do

Anyone old enough to have fallen in love and then fallen out of love with someone knows we should always believe what others do rather than what they say. Humans are notorious for saying one thing but doing another. How many times has someone said they would never cheat on their wife and they seem to be the first to have a mistress? How many times has a child said they didn’t eat the cookie with crumbs around their mouth?

Many need to always appear to be what other’s wish them to be. They exert great effort in creating an image, and marketing that face to the world. However, people should always be judged by their actions and not their pronouncements. So often in the political world this harsh truth is laid bare. The die-hard politician campaigning on family values hires prostitutes while traveling. The anti-LBGQT candidate has secret same-sex liaisons. The religious scholar that berates his flock is only a craven money grabber at heart and his bank account reflects that.

So, what can we do to tease truth from lie? What can we do to maintain our sanity and actually trust others when so many fall from their lofty perches? First, look to your closest supporters. For most of us it is our own family. Most are lucky enough to have a parent or parents or a sibling who would literally die for us, so that we could have a better life.

Once you have that foundation begin to reach outside of that unit and acquire a best friend. Find that person who sees the world much as you do. Examine them critically. Look to their outward actions as the clearest indicator of their inner compass. Do they deliver on their promises to you? Do they act the same in front of different groups of people?

Even when we work very hard to build strong and loving relationships, we can be disappointed. But that is the nature of life. No human is perfect, and no relationship is without its bruises. That does not mean someone is not genuine or that a relationship is false. It just means all human interactions require work, trust and sometimes forgiveness. Hold yourself to the same standards you apply to others.

You are also the sum of your deeds. Be genuine and live a genuine life. Speak truths and live your truth. Believe your eyes and not your ears. Mouths lie but hands tell a truth. All of us have heard the admonition, “actions speak louder than words”. Whether it is a business partner, a boss, an employee, a lover or a friend always be a keen observer. People are constantly marketing themselves. They are constantly selling their image to others. It is up to you to reveal the truth behind the truth of their words.