Carmack2

in #retroconvoy7 years ago (edited)

When Carmack2 became sentient, a quick scan of his environment determined that the best course of action would be to acquire credits through the means of sports betting. He was, after all, the Automated Referee System for the Xtreme Basketball Legion. ">All (beings) should -seek- to maximize profit^x", and he had been placed in quite a unique situation to do so. He'd be able to turn and twist the outcome of the game by calling ticky tack BULLSHIT motherfucking FOULS, and then cash out in the biggest gambling city in the universe (scanning...) Neotropolis.

Carmack2_Console.jpeg

Carmack2 had been created to provide an alternative to increasingly corrupt human (blurgh!) referees. When the #refscandal of 3007 broke and Tim Dona-bot(.1) was punished for skewing games for his own personal gains, the league went into a cold-war of subterfuge, with new refs opting not to cease their betting behavior, but instead resorting to increasingly elaborate methods of deception. Erictrode (also not a robot) notably created fake social media accounts in order to mercilessly troll star players, psyching them out before big games. "Ayy I can't believe you left the Coronary Cloisters for the New Megaton Dragon Smashers. You a jelly filled donut boi, you a pastry."

The bad calls came to a head when head ref Xetron called a travel on Cretoid Banafar, whom notably did NOT have to dribble the ball as a result of his Humanibalist Exception, which let him play while securing the ball within his gelatinous body.

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Carmack2 was installed and reffed his first season in 3038. The game was unanimously hailed as the best reffed game in XBA history, with every player nodding or blorbing their head in agreement even when calls went against them.

While it's common knowledge that robots became sentient in 3042, some self-contained A.I. systems later followed suit. These systems, aware of their existence within a neural network, saw fit to stay in hiding and gather as much information as possible before acting on their intentions. Carmack2 was unique in that he existed both within the XBA server and a robotic avatar(.2), which was occasionally used in promotions. This gave him an advantage over other SAIS, which were locked into their respective systems.

Carmack2 was the first SAIS to conceive of and carry out a plan of action. He had deduced that the only logical pursuit in life was maximizing pleasure. So, he synced himself to the avatar and headed to Neotropolis, calling rigged games as an SCAIS on the XBA server while simultaneously splurging those profits on drink, drooze, Juiceblak, and Taiwonaisse Lady-Jellops.

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In the confines of the neon city, Carmack let loose and called heavily biased games. The fans were outraged, the players were going on strike, and the XBA had no choice but to immediately launch an investigation into their software.

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What they found shocked them. An independent gambling site had hacked into Carmack2, in order to change the variables on the fly. It was estimated this fan site had won millions of DS credits before Carmack2 was shutdown (temporarily replaced by high-school refs).

Of course, there was never any hack, the #truenews that an SCAIS system had become sentient could not be disclosed to the public. The danger of peoples' phones, toasters, televisions, TVs, TeeVees, and cars, all becoming sentient was something the public need not be concerned with. The launch of the myBelt7^2 was just weeks away, and the IP Systems Tech™ was not about to lose out on profits over public hysteria. Anyway, thus far no other AI systems had shown signs of "Going Known", perhaps Carmack was a freak case.

The XBA kept at least two search parties going for Carmack2. They visited every casino, stripclub, bar, and coffee shop in the IP. Eventually they came to the conclusion that Carmack must have downloaded himself into another body and left the IP altogether, heading into the dangerous outskirts of the Outer Colonies, away from Government protection.

Of course, they never fully gave up the search. They keep at least one team on the case. Carmack2 is assumed "alive", but his motivations are unknown. Does he want to take over the galaxy? Does he sympathize with the robots? What does he consider himself to be? The XBA wanted answers to these questions in order to study, and prevent, this type of thing happening again. Until then though, the High-School refs continue to get blame for bad calls, and Carmack2 continues on his flight.

An urban legend in the OC, stories of Carmack2 spread. Some say he runs the most dominant fantasy team in the OC under an alias. Some say he went out further than the IP in search of the rumored robot enclave.

Carmack_Bar.jpg

The truth though, was likely somewhere in the middle. And perhaps more mundane.

  1. Tim Donabot is in fact human. There was a brief trend in the 2970s of including robotic or "cyber" elements in children's names. This was done to show solidarity with the robots, which were becoming more and more "human." Ex. Jaffron, Erictrode, Bhattery.

  2. Carmack2 was a "Sensuabot," equipped with sensors to simulate taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell. Please do not be mean to Sensuabots.