Chapter 1: Rome’s Greatest Menace
Chapter 1: Rome’s Greatest Menace
The borders of the Roman Empire expanded with each passing day.
To the north were barbarians.
To the east, rebels.
To the south, pirates.
Wars and battlefronts stretched across every corner of the empire.
But the Roman Army’s greatest problem was neither enemies nor war itself…
The real problem was two soldiers.
The first was Fakir Antantos, a man so unlucky that he never seemed to possess even a single copper coin.
The second was Fukur Salamantan, young and energetic, but unfortunately not blessed with much intelligence by the gods. Because he talked endlessly, his fellow soldiers nicknamed him “Boiling Fukur Salamantan.”
These two soldiers spent far less time fighting enemies than entertaining Roman legionaries.
Whenever military training began, chaos followed.
Whenever a commander gave a speech, disaster was never far behind.
One day they accidentally dropped the commander’s horse into a barrel of paint.
On another occasion they distributed a kitchen inventory list to the entire army instead of the battle plans.
While legionaries collapsed in laughter, the generals nearly exploded with rage.
The result?
A weekly whipping punishment.
In all of Roman history, no soldier had ever received more lashes than salary.
Yet fate had prepared a very different path for these two fools.
One day, one of Rome’s highest-ranking generals arrived to inspect the camp.
At that exact moment, another Antantos-and-Salamantan catastrophe sent the entire legion into uncontrollable laughter.
The general was furious at first.
Then he looked around.
For the first time in days, the battle-weary soldiers were smiling.
That was when an unusual idea entered his mind.
Perhaps what Rome needed was not more swords…
But more morale.
And so began the strangest assignment in Roman history.
Fakir Antantos and Fukur Salamantan would no longer be ordinary soldiers.
They would become the official morale unit of the Roman Army.
However, this new duty would drag them into some of the most dangerous adventures in the empire…
To be continued…