Worst (funniest) day ever with a shitty ending (literally) 😂

Now that I'm looking back at yesterday, it's defienetely one of the most hilariously messed up days I've ever had. So yesterday morning my day started off as usual- go to the morning meeting and get pumped up to make sales. We drive out to area and the get out of the car, ready to go knock on some doors.
Door knocking can be hard, but keeping your cool around douchebags is like half of the job. So this one douchebag in particular comes out of his house fresh out of the shower holding his towel up and immediately flys off the handle. He's yelling at me about this and that and how soliciting is illegal etc.
Well of course this guy calls the cops because I gave him a little piece of my mind as well. I end up getting arrested and booked in jail, and released only about three hours later. Every cop is telling me I shouldn't be there in the first place. Spending any amount of time in a holding cell is a terrible experience.

So I walked my ass right out the front door of the police station to find out that one of my previous areas I had worked is about a five minute walk from the station. Almost immediately as I stepped on to the sidewalk, a stranger yells at me driving by and throws a half eaten muffin at me....

Brushing the muffin off my shirt, I proceeded to walk to my old area to try and make a deal, after all that would be pretty epic! So the first door I knock, this lady comes out and starts telling me to come inside and that she wants to buy anything I'm selling because I'm cute (lucky right?). No! I come to find out 10 mins later that she wants me in her house so she can try to seduce me, and she was coming at me HOT PURSUIT. Did I tell you what type of woman this is? This specific house is in the ghetto in Louisiana, the lady is about 200 pounds and smells Iike a fishery. I needed a way out but couldn't come up with anything convincing on the spot. I just booked it outside.
After getting my bearings, I walked up to the next house and once again got invited in because I have a great pitch. Everything is going fine up until the point the wife walks in the back door and let's their MASSIVE dog in to find a stranger in his home. I guess it sensed that I was having a shitty day and that it could make it worse by biting me right in the calf......

At this point I'm asking God what I did wrong in my life and why he's punishing me 🙏🏻🤣

So I called my girlfriend to come pick me up because I'm done with today, waited for about 10 mins, got a ride home my shitty day is overrr......right?

As I would come to learn I just can't catch a break. As I'm getting into the car, my new iPhone 7 falls out of my pocket right as I'm shutting the door... I shut the door on my phone and it got destroyed.

On the way home my girlfriend starts complaining about stomache pain that keeps getting worse. I say, "babe I just spent the day in jail, got bitten by a dog and broke my phone. I don't want to hear about your stomache pain" but she keeps at it. Keep in mind this is a brand new F-150. Well she says BABE I THINK IM GOING TO HAVE DIARREAH PLEASE GET HOME. boom- red light what am I going to do the universe clearly wants to make my day worse. End of the story is that she literally shit in her pants right there in the passenger seat 😂😂😂

Thank god yesterday is over, I started fresh today. Instead of going in to work I decided to just chill at home and give the universe a day to pick on somebody else while I relax and get som time to tell all of you about one of my crazy days doing direct sales.

Anybody have a shitty day like this recently?